[Genshin Impact] What Should I Do When the Geo Archon Keeps Locking Me in Solitary Confinement?

During the harvest and storage season, a god accepted Frost's charge and remained in a place of purgatory.

Someone wished to see the light again. He said, "Sure."

Then he went blind.

That was how he learned his power: "Perception."

The second person wished to hear sounds. He agreed again, and then went deaf.

The third wished to taste flavors. He agreed to that too, but he had never eaten anything, so he couldn't tell what had changed.

For every year those who received his blessing lived, he lost the corresponding sense for one day. It was a pretty good deal.

Gradually, everyone learned that he granted every wish, and they came to pray to him one after another. He agreed to them all, because everyone was so interesting!

Then the God of Precious Gold snatched him out of his tower, brandishing a spear.

Baicang: ?

Baicang: What are you doing?

A voice said, "The Lord is saving you. Those people have penned you in and turned you into a wishing machine. Aren't you going to resist?"

Baicang tried to explain: "But they're all so interesting!"

Nobody believed him.

Fortunately, after he was snatched... ahem, rescued, there were plenty of humans in the God of Precious Gold's domain too. Baicang kept wandering into crowds to hear their wishes, then granting all the blessings he could!

Helping eyes see food with perfect clarity, making people unable to feel the pain of being stabbed, making everything taste sweet...

In the end, Morax picked him up and carried him off again.

Baicang: ?

Baicang asked fiercely, "What are you doing now?"

Then he was locked in a little room to write a confession.

Baicang refused to write one. He had a compendium in his head, and once he granted enough blessings, he could unlock amazing little skills.

[The Chef God's Knife Skills], [King of Deadpan Jokes], [Good Mood Resonance], [Hearing Broadcast], [Mary Sue]...

Hmm, how interesting. How many blessings should I give tomorrow? If I can't bless humans, surely I can bless flowers and plants? Yakshas and immortals too, all of them!

Baicang's eyes were fixed on the dense progress bars in his compendium. He turned around and began researching new ways to unlock more entries.

*

"The world was ravaged by wildfires, and the land became a prison. All its people suffered. The Frost Maiden quelled the flames with her own body, and autumn began.

Thus was the White Emperor passed down, and his glory began."

-- A broken inscription.

Synopsis revised four times, additional text added on 2026.2.1

[Note]

1. The pairing is with the Lord. As for the romance, let's just let it happen naturally.

2. The Lord is reborn and has two sets of memories. There is no parallel-universe theory; he's one person. Baicang is not a native god of Teyvat (important)!

3. This is a fun comedy, so don't look too deeply into the background. There will be some wish fulfillment and plenty of original settings. In the end, the twins Aether and Lumine will travel together. The author loves dramatic, happy endings where everyone gets together, so if that's not your thing, please click away. Don't put yourself through it! Lore enthusiasts won't survive, because the author's logic stops working all the time.

4. Everyday nonsense story √

Theme: Love gives rise to a mutual response