After the Gloomy Cannon Fodder Blackmails a Straight Guy with Intimate Photos

[My next story will be Help! Which Planet Should I Run to After Faking My Death?]

[The bonus chapter for chapter 75 has been replaced with a revised version.]

When Yu Yanshuang was sent abroad to fend for himself, he learned that he was the fake young master and a disposable character. His whole family hated him, and he was destined to contract an illness and die while studying in the United States.

What did I do wrong? I did nothing wrong. Yu Yanshuang came to hate everyone, especially Sain, the star of the school.

A tall man with black-and-gold hair strode down the corridor, his face stern and his gaze fixed straight ahead. He never stopped to look at anyone, yet everyone watched him, greeting him and trying to catch Sain's attention.

Every time, Yu Yanshuang was consumed with jealousy.

At last, one day, he got his chance. Taking advantage of Sain's drunkenness, he dragged him into a room.

Knowing the other man couldn't understand Chinese, he taunted him in Chinese: "So what if you're 192 centimeters tall, have abs, are bigger than me, and know how to box? I can't punch you to death in one hit!"

"You're lucky your foreign mixed-race genes made you so handsome. If I were back in China, you wouldn't even be as good-looking as me!"

"People only behave themselves around you because you're rich and powerful. If you were as broke as me, everyone would abandon you!"

Though he was insulting him, Yu Yanshuang cried so pitifully that Sain, who had no idea he was being insulted, lowered his eyes and comforted him. "Don't cry."

Yu Yanshuang finally felt a twisted sense of satisfaction.

Remembering that Sain's only weakness was his homophobia, he smiled wickedly.

-

When Sain received the intimate photo, he was staring intently at the red mole he was kissing in it.

Lately, Sain had often noticed a little tail following him around.

After deliberately throwing a party, getting drunk, and wandering off alone, he finally caught that little tail.

But when he saw that smug, thieving-cat look on the other's face, Sain changed his mind.

[You wouldn't want anyone else to see this photo, would you? Come to room 2308 at the Seaton Hotel tonight.]

[And bring those boxing gloves you never let anyone touch.]

Looking at the text from his little cat, Sain curled his lips in anticipation and replied unhurriedly: [Fine. But I'm warning you, don't do to me what you did in the photo again.]

-

That night, Sain pinned Yu Yanshuang against the floor-to-ceiling window. His tall frame completely enveloped him.

One large hand was enough to hold both of Yu Yanshuang's hands in place.

Yu Yanshuang cried and cursed as the man behind him kissed his neck and coaxed him in fluent Chinese: "Don't cry. Now that you've had your fun cursing me, shall we continue?"

"One-on-one, both virgins, happy ending"

_______The following is an advance notice for Help! Which Planet Should I Run to After Faking My Death?_______

Help! Which Planet Should I Run to After Faking My Death?

Hi, everyone. In your terms, I'm a beta. I was so poor back then that I thought being an omega was really trendy, so I pretended to be one and became a risqué streamer. The Empire took me for the real thing.

My boyfriend went off to war, so I had to tell him I was dead. Then, as required by the Empire, I married an alpha. I only recently found out that he's my ex. He's very tall and strong, and has a rather unhinged personality. He'd kill "people" and could flatten me with one punch. I'm afraid of dying, so I've decided to fake my death and run away. Which planet would be best?

Second-floor reply: Obviously fake! Are the machines just for show? How could they make a mistake? Still, I recommend Planet Z. There's no road there.

Third-floor reply: Bro, you're the best. I'm off!

Three days later.

Fourth-floor reply: Uh, our major general recently led a team to clear out the alien beasts and open a road to Planet Z. Are you still there?

Fifth-floor reply: Bro, you're great. Thank you. You're the best. I know now. Where should I go next?

Sixth-floor reply: Wait... OP, are you really the beta who tricked our major general?!

Seventh-floor reply: I didn't trick anyone. I'm not a beta, I'm from Earth. I think I hear artillery outside. Bro, what should I do?

-

Overnight, the post Help! Which Planet Should I Run to After Faking My Death? suddenly went viral.

Big shots from all over the place showed up to offer advice in the thread.

Within half a year, roads had been opened to even the most remote corners of the entire interstellar realm.

People named the whole affair: Major General Pursues His Wife, Mission Accomplished.

-

As the post went viral, everyone discovered that the "Earthling" pretending to be an omega was a risqué streamer.

People who came for the laughs rushed to watch the stream replays.

Everyone thought it would be an expressway to steamy content, but it turned out to be BabyBus.

This streamer couldn't even make the most popular risqué content risqué, and had now successfully transformed into the most popular survival-escape streamer.

Advance notice 2: Bro, What's the Harm in a Kiss?

Shen Junwen was the youngest top scholar in the Great Liang Dynasty. His quick tongue could bring the dead back to life, but he hated Xie Han most of all because he never got the chance to insult him.

Xie Han was the youngest military champion in the Great Liang Dynasty. With muscles all over and a body nine heads tall, he could scare the best talker into fainting before even throwing a punch. And by that, we mean Shen Junwen.

One accident left them switched into each other's bodies.

Shen Junwen: Heh. Fighting? Vulgar and boring.

Headline that day: Explosive! A certain military champion loses all his martial arts skills and gets beaten bloody while standing still in a contest!

Xie Han: Heh. A scholar is useless in every way.

Headline that day: Explosive! A certain top scholar has run out of things to say. At a debate, all he can manage is one word: "Get lost!"

Shen Junwen: ...

Xie Han: ...

-

Shen Junwen and Xie Han had no choice but to set their feud aside and sit down for a serious conversation at a tavern for the first time.

They couldn't reach an agreement.

They tried a second time, then a third. At last, on their sixth try, they managed to have a "peaceful" discussion.

They agreed that when Shen Junwen debated, Xie Han would protect him. If Shen couldn't win an argument, no matter: Xie Han knew a little martial arts.

When Xie Han fought, Shen Junwen would insult the other side for him. Losing was... impossible. But from then on, Xie Han never had to pay damages after a fight again.

Because Shen Junwen always knew how to provoke people until they lost their temper and threw the first punch.

Whoever throws the first punch pays up!

-

From then on, the people of the Great Liang Dynasty saw Shen Junwen and Xie Han together every day.

You call me elder brother, and I call you younger brother.

The two went from sworn enemies to brothers as close as if they'd sworn brotherhood, until they were so close they even shared a bed!

Then Xie Han accidentally kissed Shen Junwen, and their bodies switched back.

Xie Han: ...

Shen Junwen: ...

From that day on, Xie Han felt anxious whenever he went a day without seeing his younger brother, Shen Junwen.

Shen Junwen couldn't insult anyone with confidence if he went a day without seeing his elder brother, Xie Han.

But it was fine. When they kissed at night, Xie Han no longer felt anxious, and Shen Junwen could hold his head high again.

Theme: Life is short, so why not give it a try