Blurb:
In the second year after her beloved fiancé died, Zhu Haisu, a woman who dealt in medicinal herbs, saw a face identical to her late husband's amid the clinking cups and lively chatter of a drinking party.
Her brows knitted. Disgust, anger, and an almost imperceptible pain at the desecration pierced her to the heart. She wanted nothing more than to slash that person's face.
Who else had the right to wear that face but him?
Yet after countless sleepless nights haunted by dreams, Zhu Haisu still sent for Xie Chen, a shy young man utterly unlike her late husband.
"Boss Zhu hopes that Student Xie will move into the Zhu residence."
Each had something the other needed, so Xie Chen agreed.
As they spent their days and nights together, testing each other's boundaries, Zhu Haisu finally began to sleep well again.
But when Xie Chen came to his senses, lost himself in her, and resolved to leave, Zhu Haisu suddenly caught his wrist.
In the tender night, just before their lips met, Xie Chen refused to give up and asked, his voice trembling slightly, "Haisu, look at me and tell me: who am I?"
Zhu Haisu avoided the question.
Years later, they met again amid the smoke and flames of war. Xie Chen gazed at her for a long while, then silently carried the wounded Zhu Haisu back to his tent.
A nurse watching them sensed the subtle tension between the two. When Xie Chen stepped outside, she hurriedly asked Zhu Haisu, "Sister Zhu, what are you and Teacher Xie to each other?"
Seated on the hospital bed, Zhu Haisu looked at the candy Xie Chen had placed in her palm. After a moment's thought, she answered solemnly, "Lovers."
Outside the door, someone halted just before entering.
A little scene:
Haisu, I'm leaving.
Your lover lies sleeping beneath the earth, and mine...
My lover.
My lover is trapped in the past.
That day in early spring, you looked at me and said Xie Chen was cute. I was confused and embarrassed, while you smiled brightly. Sunlight fell across your hair as you said softly, "Cute is the highest form of praise."
You smiled so adorably that no one could bear to scold you.
Through all those days and nights I spent studying for you, I watched your tightly furrowed brows slowly relax. Suddenly, my heart felt like a sponge swelling with water, contracting sharply before slowly expanding again.
Studying late into the night was the happiest thing in the world to me.
And yet I wondered: had you ever looked at your lover with the same affection?
You may not remember. On the night of the summer solstice, drunk and in tears, you looked at me and said your heart hurt. I held you close. We were as close as two people could be, yet I felt a thousand miles away from you.
Through tear-blurred eyes, you asked me, "Who are you?"
Who am I?
Without a moment's thought, I reached up and wiped away your tears. I said,
"Li Zhihang."
I thought that if I could stop your tears and free you from all your pain, even for a moment, I could stop being myself.
But how could I stop being myself?
You told me from the very beginning that this love wasn't mine. So why does my heart still ache?
That's why I'm leaving.
Haisu.
May you have sweet dreams every night from now on.
#Inspired by the beautiful song "Beloved in the City" by Shuang Sheng. It's so good.
#A happy ending in an alternate Republic of China era setting. Everything in this story is fictional.
#The white moonlight really is dead. No vilification, no faking death. Clear-headed yet unable to resist falling in love, then reunited after a painful separation.
Blurb written on 2025.10.13
Theme: Break things down to build them anew
