Hey, Human, You're on Groundhog Watch Tonight

The blurb for the upcoming novel, Human, Are Guinea Pigs Noisy?, is at the bottom!

Songke is a groundhog. The human who lives with him is utterly irresponsible and has dumped all the burdens on him.

The human's home is warm, but it's full of buzzing noises and lurking dangers. Songke has to stay on high alert!

At night, the human rubs his belly, and Songke thinks it's finally time to switch shifts. But then the human turns around, goes into the house, and closes his eyes!

The human can sleep so peacefully, but what is Songke supposed to do?

There's no helping it. Someone in the burrow has to shoulder the responsibility. Songke stands up on the bed again, staring intently out the door with his tiny black eyes.

After repeating this for three days, Songke can't take it anymore. After his last night shift, he steps on the human's face and screams.

"Aaaah!"

Human, you're on watch tonight!!!

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What Lu Jue can't stand is waking up every night to see Songke standing there stock-still, as if someone had taken out his batteries.

He won't go to sleep when told. He just stares and gazes into the distance.

Lu Jue stuffs Songke into his arms. "Can't you go to sleep?"

Songke gets mad and lets out a "Gurr." Then he turns sideways to face away from Lu Jue while standing guard, switching from facing him with his side to facing him with his back.

Lu Jue: "..."

So he paid to have a realistic groundhog made, and things finally quieted down for a while.

Until one night, Lu Jue forgot to charge the robotic groundhog.

He opened his eyes and didn't see the groundhog. Instead, a naked young man was crouched beside the bed, looking outside.

Hearing a sound, the young man turned his face toward him and said brightly, in a clear voice, "Human, Songke's on watch tonight!"

Lu Jue: "...?"

After turning into a human, the groundhog became even more rambunctious.

Every time Lu Jue closed his eyes, Songke would bounce over and cause trouble, placing his warm hand on Lu Jue's face. "Don't sleep, Lu Jue. It's your turn to keep watch today."

Even when the two of them were in the middle of it, Songke could kick Lu Jue away, wrap himself in the quilt, and crouch by the bed. "Lu Jue, hurry up and sleep. I'll keep watch!"

Unable to take having things interrupted halfway every time, Lu Jue had dozens of robotic groundhogs made to take turns standing guard.

[Bonus Scene]

As a groundhog who became human and lacks common sense, Songke's not-so-bright little brain is always forgetting things.

This is his first time going out alone. He puts on the little bag Lu Jue bought him and wears the smartwatch Lu Jue bought him.

Songke crouches in a corner of the mall, curled up like a little mushroom. His handsome brows knit in a miserable frown as he calls his husband on the smartwatch. "Hubby... Boohoo, I forgot my money."

Lu Jue: "Baby, I just transferred fifty thousand into the watch."

Songke says, "Hubby, I forgot my lip balm too."

Lu Jue sighs helplessly. "Feel inside the pocket of your little bag."

Songke reaches in, and there it is!

There's more: tissues, a parasol, a power bank, little candies, and even a groundhog plushie.

Lu Jue takes care of everything for Songke himself.

"Hubby, I love you so much!"

The next second, Lu Jue appears from his hiding place and picks up the heavy little bag. "Baby, could you say that again?"

Reading Guide:

1. One-on-one romance, both physically and emotionally pure.

2. A plotless, logic-free sweet story with livestream comments.

3. Groundhogs stand guard as a survival instinct. Taking turns on watch is a communal habit that developed to avoid predators (based on information found online).

4. Blurb saved on February 8, 2026.

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Human, Are Guinea Pigs Noisy?

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Yuan Qiao is a guinea pig with pale yellow fur that's slightly curly.

It's not noisy at all, yet humans are always saying it sounds like it's sending a telegram.

It doesn't understand what a telegram is.

Thankfully, the human who adopted it now doesn't mind at all that it talks so much.

And doesn't pay it any attention, either!

"Gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr."

Human, human, what's that thing on your ears? Doesn't it hurt?

"Gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr."

Human, human, you're so nice. You don't mind that Yuan Qiao is so chatty.

"Gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr."

Human, why aren't you talking?

"Gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr gurr!"

Human, don't be upset. I'll send you a telegram to cheer you up~

The human looks at it in silence, then takes the thing off his ears. A moment later, he speaks his first words in ages:

"This is so strange. Why can I hear you making all that noise even without my hearing aids?"

Yuan Qiao: ...

That hurts. I'm not making noise at all!!

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Duan Ze has been deaf since birth. The world around him is utterly silent.

Or at least, it was before he adopted this guinea pig.

He often wonders why he's tormenting himself by keeping such a noisy yellow melon around.

But with Yuan Qiao, for the first time, he feels like a normal person.

Whether he wears his hearing aids or not, a "gurr gurr" sound is always drifting around his ears.

Duan Ze tries several times to pinch Yuan Qiao's mouth shut, but the gurring still spills out.

He gives up.

Go ahead and squeak.

By habit, even when Yuan Qiao turns into a young man in front of him, with curly pale yellow hair and a bare body, looking at him in confusion with pursed lips, Duan Ze still thinks, Finally, some peace and quiet.

A minute later, Duan Ze puts on his hearing aids. "Yuan Qiao, why did you stop squeaking?"

This feels so strange.

Yuan Qiao's eyes light up and he lunges at him. "Human! You're talking to me again!"

Then Yuan Qiao's little mouth starts chattering nonstop.

*One-on-one romance, both physically and emotionally pure.

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Theme: Love helps people grow.