I Was Once Delicate

People who are frail will suffer a lot in this life.

I thought, perhaps I could have a little sweetness, too.

I was born into a family of doctors, but I was sickly from birth.

I fell ill twice a year: one illness lasted from spring to late autumn, the other from late autumn to the end of winter.

Only for a little while in early spring, when the snow melted and flowers bloomed, did I have any real energy.

But I had a remarkably brave name: She Chuan.

A nun from the Xishan Temple gave it to me, and I loved it.

"She Chuan, people who are frail will suffer a lot in this life."

I thought, then I'll only choose the sweet things.

In this life, born with a short life span and a contrary temperament, and doted on by my parents, I never married.

After my parents died, I took in a scholar dressed in white. He later rose to the highest ranks of the court, yet he still knelt before me and wrote poetry.

I loved a wanderer. When Luoyang's flower festival drew crowds until the streets were empty, he stood outside the city gates and used his sword to pluck a peach blossom for me alone.

I killed a man who had suffered for love. Wearing a simple dress, with a long sash and poisoned wine, I watched from behind an embroidered curtain as his true and false affections turned to bones.

Alone and vulnerable, I was devoured by the forces around me, and I devoured them in turn.

My name is She Chuan. I am too frail to care for myself. The first time I crossed the river, I got so seasick on the Grand Canal running north to south that I could barely tell sky from earth.

But all my life, I have lived in a raging river

and never once reached the shore.

Theme: Strive to live on through adversity