NBA: Merging with Jordan, Hitting Curry Threes from the Start

At the 1996 Chicago pre-draft combine, Ling Yi is treated like a clown after his physical test numbers are exposed as fake. A burly Black man is about to toss him out of the gym like a little chick.

At his lowest point, the Space-Time Basketball Tyrant System awakens! Ignoring O'Neal’s dominance in the paint, he decisively chooses the [Skyfucker Curry three-point template], and the System even throws in [100% of Jordan’s peak physical attributes] for free!

“This kid from the East is a softie!” Defensive ace Bowen sneers, preparing to play dirty. But the instant he crashes into Ling Yi’s chest, it’s like hitting a high-speed train: he flies backward, foaming at the mouth! To the horrified stares of the crowd, who look at him like a monster, Ling Yi doesn’t drive to the basket. Instead, he retreats to midcourt and launches a shot!

Swish! Swish! Swish! Four straight uncontested logo threes, followed by a godlike recreation of a soaring free-throw-line dunk, leave the entire combine dead silent. Red Auerbach crushes the cigar in his hand and roars, “That’s God wearing a three-point disguise!”

Pippen mocks him in front of the media, calling it a gimmick. Ling Yi sneers: “Ready for a rain of threes to drown the United Center?”