Dream of the Red Chamber: Big Sis Runs the Grand View Garden

[A Dream of the Red Chamber spin-off + unhinged, powerful heroine + feel-good System story]

[Not a scholarly take on the original. Fans of the original, please go easy on me. Those who haven’t read it can enjoy it too.]

A modern-day hater of A Dream of the Red Chamber transmigrates into a book and becomes Jia Guan, an insignificant concubine-born daughter of the Rongguo Mansion who won’t survive ten chapters.

Her monthly allowance is two taels, she has one maid, and her status is so low that her propriety points could hit zero at any moment, leaving her subject to family punishment.

Since she’s going to die either way, she decides to play the tough guy in the Grand View Garden and go straight into the fray herself!

Jia Baoyu approaches her with his usual line, “Girls are made of water,” hoping to ingratiate himself.

Jia Guan greets him with a slap across the face, then drags him by his red sash across the ice until his oversized-baby fantasies shatter.

An old servant from the Xue family secretly tries to trip her up and push her into the water.

Jia Guan turns the trick against her and plays the victim instead. Right in front of Nanny Yan, she delivers a loud, crisp slap: “This is my Chastity and Corruption-Repelling Palm!”

Prince Beijing, Shui Rong, fancies himself a romantic and sends her a tribute robe of peacock brocade.

She casually snatches it and stuffs it into a coal cart to use as a rag. She even sets an icicle trap that makes him smash his beloved twin-fish jade pendant in front of everyone.

While all the young mistresses in the garden submit to the rules of propriety, Jia Guan struts through the Grand View Garden with her “Propriety Tycoon” System.

She snatches up incense, obtains an access token, audits the Maritime Affairs Office’s books, and turns the imperial visit preparations and tribute presentation into her own investment promotion event.

On a snowy night, as they warm wine on the way to the woodshed gate, the fire of the great stove casts a red glow over Qinfang Sluice.

Shen Li leans against the doorframe and offers her a bowl of South Seas smoked venison, smiling warmly. “Miss Xie, does this untaxed meat suit your taste?”

As Jia Guan chews the jerky and sees the “Relationship Deepened” notification pop up on her System screen, she turns around and slaps the South Seas Governor’s black ebony-and-warm-jade seal onto the table.