I Went Limp on a Dating Show and Became a Sensation

The whole internet was waiting for me to embarrass myself on a dating show, so I walked in with a sack of snacks and decided to coast. When a fake-sweet girl pretended to be frail and picked a fight, I sat nearby munching on bread and watched the show. When a male guest got all emotional about love, I handed him a pack of spicy strips and told him to eat something. I turned a perfectly normal dating show into a comedy reality show, and all my haters became loyal fans who came to watch me clown around. Even the icy superstar no one dared talk to started chasing after me every day to mooch snacks and join in on the fun. By the time the show ended, I had gone from an obscure nobody to a breakout star, and even won over the superstar who was the internet's ideal man!