You Call Me a Good-for-Nothing? Seven Demonesses from the Cold Palace Beg for My Mercy

Shen Lang transmigrates to Great Qian and becomes the world’s number-one “sickly good-for-nothing.” After lying low for ten years, he has secretly become an Earth Immortal, armed with black technology a thousand years ahead of the world.

He only wants to keep enjoying music and wine at the pleasure houses. But the newly enthroned, unhinged empress, just to spite her powerful ministers, storms into the brothel with three thousand imperial guards, drags him away, and proclaims him her imperial consort in the middle of the street!

To squeeze every last bit of value out of him, the empress gives him seven peerless female demonesses as personal maids. They’ve been imprisoned in the Divine Flame Prison and kill without blinking.

The whole realm waits for the joke of watching the demonesses drain him dry and tear him apart.

That night, the Cold Palace gates are shut tight. Facing the demonesses sharpening their blades, Shen Lang sighs and produces the Namo Gatling Bodhisattva. His Earth Immortal aura erupts. “Ladies, would you rather take a bullet, or give me a shoulder massage?”

Three months later, a million enemy troops bear down on the border, and powerful ministers launch a rebellion.

The empress closes her eyes in despair, ready to take her own life, when the Cold Palace gates are kicked open. The once bloodthirsty demon sect matriarch is now serving tea, while the aloof sword immortal peels grapes. And Shen Lang, the good-for-nothing in everyone’s eyes, sits atop a strange bird called an Apache and blasts a hundred thousand enemy troops to smithereens!

Shen Lang pops a grape into his mouth and looks at the terrified crowd. “Wife, settle my wages. From now on, I call the shots in this realm!”