Chronicles of Mountains and Rivers: Don’t Call Me a Male Escort, Call Me a Celestial Master

Name: Chronicles of Mountains and Rivers: Don’t Call Me a Male Escort, Call Me a Celestial Master
Author: A Cat Caught in a Fish Tank

山河志：别叫我男公关，喊我天师

by A Cat Caught in a Fish Tank (鱼缸捉了只猫)

Status: Ongoing
Length: 403k Words
Genre: Urban
Subgenre: Urban High-Concept
Updated: 4mo ago
English: Request a translation

Read on Fanqie

Synopsis

[Feel-good power fantasy + gloomy male lead + everyday comedy + Taoist mysticism + guardian spirits + folk horror + emotional healing]

I’ve lived for twenty-six years, but I can’t cry, laugh, or get angry.

The doctor says it’s called “emotional detachment.” There’s no cure, so I should just wait to die.

I didn’t take it seriously. I delivered food, worked as a security guard, pulled night shifts at a funeral home... until I opened the door to karaoke room No. 3.

Grandpa had been waiting for me “over there” for twenty-three years.

He said, “Xiao Chao, Grandpa’s finally waited long enough to see you.”

From that day on, a Taiji symbol appeared in my palm, along with a wisp of black qi that cowered in fear and wanted to eat people every day.

I’d always been a gloomy guy.

That is, until I became a top-tier male companion.

Lolis, mature women, rich heiresses, Taoist priestesses, fox spirits, Azure Birds, seductive ghosts... all kinds of female clients came knocking, each more troublesome and flirtatious than the last.

And my colleagues, the fox, yellow weasel, white hedgehog, willow spirit, and gray rat, had all found new jobs as the Five Immortals. They were more rambunctious and prone to wild assumptions than one another.

I had no idea what they were imagining.

All I knew was that my heart, which hadn’t beaten in twenty-three years, had started moving again.

The beautiful women nearby looked at me with adoration. “Lin, what should we do next?”

I said, “Do? Go eat dumplings in the kitchen.”

They always think I’m playing hard to get, and keep calling me a “heartless scumbag.”

Hey, wait. Why are you making things up about me?

I really was just... hungry.

Stats

167Chapters

8Reads · 30 days

1.7kReads · all time

7.0Score

2Listens

PausedPace

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