Mocked Online as a Good-for-Nothing? My Secret Identities Are Exposed, and My Wife Breaks Down

[Retired warrior king + variety show + laugh-out-loud comedy + satisfying read]

Three years ago, Lu Qing, the “Asura King” who had once intimidated the global underworld single-handedly, chose to retire. All he wanted was to be a stay-at-home husband in baggy shorts and flip-flops, heading to the supermarket at the same time every day to grab discounted eggs. His nationally beloved movie-star wife, Su Ruo, was exasperated with him. To make him get his act together, she forced him to join a livestreamed variety show called Saving My Good-for-Nothing Husband.

Before the show aired, the whole internet mocked him: “Su Ruo must be blind to marry a useless freeloader!” After it aired, the whole internet changed its tune and dropped to its knees!

Other husbands set the kitchen on fire. Lu Qing used a rusty kitchen knife to carve a radish into a “flying dragon in the sky.” The scales looked so real that the Michelin judges cried. Lu Qing said, “Oh, I practiced to get my dog to eat radishes. He’s a picky eater.”

Other husbands screamed at bugs. Lu Qing built a three-story bamboo villa with his bare hands, and a tiger behaved like a tame orange cat. Lu Qing said, “This really is a cat. It’s just a bit big. I used to work part-time as a pooper scooper at a circus, too.”

The production crew accidentally wandered into a war zone and ran into heavily armed mercenaries. Lu Qing grabbed a rolling pin and took down five armed thugs in three seconds. Lu Qing said, “Don’t be scared. It’s just like whacking moles at an amusement park. Practice makes perfect.”

Then one day, the top warlord in the Middle East saw Lu Qing and dropped to his knees in front of the whole world on a live broadcast. Su Ruo finally snapped. Blocking the door with a washboard, she demanded, “Lu Qing! Tell me the truth! What did you used to do?!”

Lu Qing looked completely innocent. “Honey, you have to believe me! I’m really just an ordinary guy who delivers takeout, unclogs toilets, fixes pipes, and occasionally keeps the world at peace!”