I Just Tossed the Baby Out the Door, and Now Someone's Blocking It

I, Gu Chenyuan, am the Buddhist scion of the capital's elite circle, having renounced all worldly desires.

Then one day, a baby girl appeared at my doorstep, along with a note: "Your kid."

Just like that, twenty years of spiritual cultivation went down the drain.

I tried to toss her out, but she clung to my bodhi beads and wouldn't let go.

I chanted the Heart-Cleansing Sutra to her, and she cried even louder, then farted in my face!

I changed her diaper and nearly got taken out on the spot by that yellow mess. (Choking)

Most absurd of all, my hapless assistant saw her once and won five million that very night!

The whole capital's elite circle is going wild with rumors that I've picked up a living God of Wealth!

My sworn rival, Ye Xiao, calls every day: "Young Master Gu, can I borrow your daughter for a cuddle?"

Gu Chenyuan (with bulging veins): Get lost!

I just want to keep my mind free of worldly desires. Why does the whole world want me for a son-in-law?!

(Also, why does this little thing keep drooling at me, looking at me like I'm a gourmet feast?)