I’m in the Beast Taming Sect, and My Spirit Pet Is a Round-Headed Megatherium

[For the laughs] [Lighthearted] [Subverts the usual tropes] (Everyone thinks everyone else is a big shot)

Overworked office drone Wang Defa pulls an all-nighter and dies suddenly, only to transmigrate into the Beast Taming Sect, where the strong rule, as the disciple with the worst aptitude.

As his fellow disciples sign contracts with divine dragons and phoenixes, he looks down at his orange cat, whose only assets are its round head and fierce eyes, and falls into deep thought.

“It's over. I probably couldn't even beat a mouse in the spirit beast garden in this lifetime...”

Then, during the sect tournament, he is driven into a corner. With the desperate attitude of someone who has nothing to lose, he sings an utterly embarrassing, maddeningly catchy tune from his memories in front of thousands of scornful onlookers:

“Ha Ji Mi~ Man Bo~ Ha Ji Mi Oh Nan Bei Lv Dou!”

The moment the song begins, the round-headed tapir in his arms opens its mouth in time: “Ha!”

An invisible sound wave, mixed with the cat's breath, blasts out. The next second, the mighty Flame Eagle opposite him goes blank-eyed, and its spiritual connection with its master snaps with a pop.

The whole arena falls silent.

From then on, the Beast Taming Sect's style goes completely off the rails.

Other people cultivate through grueling practice; Wang Defa cultivates through public humiliation. Other people's spirit beasts learn spells; his tapir can only huff.

One rendition of “Blue Lotus Ha” can make Nascent Soul elders reminisce about their days of striving; one performance of “Lone High Manbo” gets the entire sect singing along with him.

When the evil demonic lord leads countless demonic beasts to the city walls, and the entire cultivation world teeters on the brink of disaster,

Wang Defa sighs, silently pulls out a homemade megaphone, and softly says to the round-headed cat dozing beside him:

“Buddy, wake up... give them a remix of the Great Compassion Mantra.”