I, the Idle Sage, Leave the Female Emperor Stunned with My Wild Moves

While everyone else works themselves to the bone at 996, he gets paid to slack off in the restroom and becomes a sage for the ages! 【Action-Packed Opening】 “Su Yan, how dare you slack off right under My nose?” “Your Majesty, I was merely… working overtime with my soul.” The empress watches him snore on a chaise lounge, loud enough to sound like he is reading memorials. She nearly draws her sword, then quietly covers him with a blanket. This man is ridiculously interesting. During the Yonghui era of the Tang dynasty, Wu Meiniang has yet to become empress, and Su Yan is just a low-ranking ninth-grade clerk who has wormed his way into the archives. He binds himself to the “Sage of Slacking System.” Skiving while on duty lets him exchange points for divine skills: approving memorials in his dreams, silver-tongued eloquence, rapid mastery of agriculture, danger intuition… If he gets caught in the act, he earns one more taste of the court-rod experience card. He only wants to coast until retirement, but Wu Meiniang, disguised as a palace maid, has her eye on him: “He looks like a good-for-nothing, yet every word he says breaks a deadlock. Could he be a hidden genius?” They test and protect each other in turn, joining forces to wreck the court's KPI targets: Locust plague? He writes ten strategies to defeat it in his dreams. Witchcraft? He spends three hours squatting in the restroom and finds the real culprit. The old ministers accuse her of usurping power as a woman? He turns their words into tavern ballads, and the public mood reverses overnight. He slacks his way into becoming “Sage Su,” a lazy fish who flips belly-up and unleashes a tidal wave. And she, rising from Zhaoyi consort to empress, grants him a prosperous age in which “everyone can lounge in peace, with good reason.” At court, the officials kneel and demand severe punishment for the shirking minister. Su Yan leans against a palace pillar, dozing off, when the System suddenly pops up 【Final Choice: Live carefree beyond the world or rise to the highest rank】 He looks up and meets the sharp yet smiling gaze beside the dragon throne: Lady Wu, if I choose a third path, and whisk you away with me, what will the history books say? The empress dots her vermilion brush and parts her lips: “Write that he and I shared the realm.”