Great Qin: The First Emperor Overhears My Inner Thoughts

While everyone else who transmigrated to the Qin Dynasty was busy plotting rebellions, Li Yan taught Emperor Qin Shi Huang how to slack off. The result? The Great Qin entered the “nine-to-five workday plus hotpot weekends” era eight hundred years early! At court, Li Yan dozed off for the 108th time, grumbling inwardly, “Burning books and burying scholars? Why not use the bamboo slips as kindling instead? We'd save on coal.” Ying Zheng glanced up from the dragon throne. Good. Tonight, I'll send this kid to haul bricks at Mount Li's mausoleum, and while I'm at it, I'll find out how this “kindling saves coal” idea works. After working himself to the bone as a 996 office drone, Li Yan transmigrated into the Qin Dynasty as a lazy censor. His dream was to “slack off on the clock for three thousand years.” His golden finger: whenever he grumbled about the First Emperor within a hundred meters, Ying Zheng could hear him in real time! When his grumbling paid off: potatoes became “immortal beans,” cement became “the art of mending the heavens,” and he was named “Guardian of the State Sardine.” When his grumbling nearly got him killed: he cursed, “The tyrannical Qin is doomed!” and was sent to build the Great Wall. In the end, he turned it into a “cement expressway.” The First Emperor acted aloof and held grudges, but secretly copied modern ideas like crazy. Princess Ying Yinman became a “special inspector” to keep an eye on Li Yan, only to get led astray and start sneaking barbecue with him. Before the remnants of the Six States could even rebel, Li Yan's “mahjong diplomacy” and “hotpot peace treaty” had already driven them into bankruptcy. In the end, Ying Zheng abdicated and opened a “Slacker's Teahouse” with his son-in-law Li Yan and his daughter, the princess. The three played Dou Dizhu to decide who had to wash the dishes, and the Great Qin officially entered its “Golden Age of Sardines.” “Minister Li, I feel like hearing you badmouth me again today.” Li Yan broke down. “Your Majesty, if I curse you again... you'll have to pay extra!” Next time, the First Emperor will personally lead an expedition to Rome to mooch off their Wi-Fi. How will Li Yan slack off and stay alive this time? Ying Zheng, earnestly taking notes: “Collectible figures equal blind boxes of terracotta warriors?”