The Heir

There isn't much of a problem specifically, but you have to be careful when it comes to controlling the protagonist, because the protagonist is one of the more miserable ones I've seen in HP fics. Growing up, I worked with three house elves to make a living. Because the heir to the family treasury cannot be opened until he reaches adulthood, the protagonist is very talented in alchemy. Because the work is highly lethal, he cannot sell it openly and can only go to Knockturn Alley. Then due to some reasons, his life was in danger and he was rescued by Hogwarts. Because of his talent, he was monitored by Dumbledore and was forced to enroll in Hogwarts. The first grader was forced to enter Slytherin. Because he looked like Sirius, he was hostile to Snape. Then the other Slytherins also alienated the protagonist because of Snape's hostility. Later, he mistakenly entered the scene of a basilisk murder and was considered to be the heir of Slytherin. He was hostile to the whole school and was even suspected by all the professors. He treated the protagonist as a transparent person in class. , Was also monitored by Dumbledore, who believed that the protagonist was too talented and resembled Voldemort, so he did not trust the protagonist. The Hufflepuff people are afraid of the protagonist, the Gryffindor people provoke the protagonist, the Ravenclaw people ignore the protagonist, and the Slytherin people bully the protagonist. In the second grade, Lockhart ordered alchemy equipment from the protagonist, and the protagonist had to constantly debug the equipment data, so he could not avoid looking for Lockhart all the time. However, Lockhart's idiot has long been known to many people, and the protagonist's behavior of constantly looking for Lockhart was considered by everyone to be complimenting his bad feet. Then, as expected, the protagonist was ridiculed and even given a nickname. In the third grade, Dementors appeared on the Hogwarts Express. The protagonist fought with the Dementors in order to protect his classmates. He killed several Dementors, which attracted people from the Ministry of Magic. Under Urumqi's order, the Ministry of Magic attacked the protagonist on the grounds of harming the Dementors, beating the protagonist black and blue, and then smeared the protagonist in the newspaper, and then the whole school stayed away from the protagonist as usual. To be honest, this is really the first time I have seen a protagonist being cold-blooded and raped for three consecutive terms at Hogwarts. Although the protagonist also gained something, Dumbledore gave the Philosopher's Stone to the protagonist, and the Slytherin heir actually chose the protagonist (this book has a private election of the Slytherin heir). In the end, the protagonist defeated the basilisk, gained the status of Slytherin heir, and the right to use 1/4 of Hogwarts. The basilisk became the protagonist's pet. All the professors understood that the protagonist was not the culprit, and Dumbledore also apologized to the protagonist. Every time the protagonist does something remarkable, there is no praise for his talent, but rather what benefits others have gained. Very altruistic. Even the protagonist made something similar to a mobile phone and then promoted it, and others saw the power of this work, but there was no description of the change in the attitude of the protagonist, but the author was very used to abusing the protagonist. Every time the protagonist does something "bad", the news will spread throughout Hogwarts, and then the protagonist will be hostile, insulted, and ridiculed. I have seen so many HP fans but I have never seen a protagonist with ability, strength, and intelligence being bullied to the third grade by Leng [laughing and crying] Although the protagonist has a strong character, he is not rigid, and weakness sometimes shows up. However, when faced with cold violence, the protagonist's attitude is that he doesn't care, and then focuses on his own affairs. There is no situation where the protagonist complains all day long because he is isolated. If you find it uncomfortable, you can skip to chapter 56 (Love and Sacrifice). The protagonist uses the patron saint spell, and the patron saint is the Eastern Dragon. So everyone's attitude towards the protagonist has changed, because the dark wizard cannot use the Patronus Charm. Overall, this is a very good HP fanfic, well worth reading, and it is different from those cool and boring novels with no brainers.

Looks good, really looks good. I don't know why the score is so low and I feel so cold. I like to read paragraphs and commentaries when reading books, but there are not many. In the early stage, Xiao Lin En was always wronged, especially the part when Xiao Lin En was about to drop out of school, which made me cry. Fortunately, Luna and Draco were always standing firmly behind little Lynn. At first, I read it because of the double male protagonist Harry. After reading many chapters, I found that basically nothing happened to Harry. I even doubted that Lynn showed me the black question mark (preparing for a wifeless sentence). But then Harry and Lynn gradually built up trust and regarded each other as their most trustworthy family members. I was really stumped while expressing my blessings to them both. The author is also very three-dimensional in shaping Xiao Linn's character. After living in Knockturn Alley as a child, he will not have absolute trust in anyone at the beginning. Only when you fully reveal yourself to him and have full trust in him, will he include you in his circle. Although he doesn't express his enthusiasm for his friends externally, it's just that he expresses it in his own way (such as sending a bunch of weapons). But when you don't trust him enough, or even doubt him, he will exclude you from his circle of friends. These are all manifestations of Xiao Linn's inner vulnerability, so she has to arm herself. When I saw little Lynn and Hermione severing their friendship, I had very complicated feelings, because I personally still like Hermione very much, especially because she was somewhat influenced by Ginny, so I made critical questions about Lynn. I originally thought that they would reconcile after figuring out the reason, so After Linn resolutely broke off the relationship with Hermione, and it seemed that they would never be friends again, I was actually a little disappointed, but I could understand it, and at the subsequent dance, Linn told Harry that he didn't have many friends, and he was actually very sad after losing Hermione as a friend. This is also a very prominent point that I think the author made in shaping the character of Xiao Lin En. He only cares about the results and never regrets the decisions he makes. In terms of emotions, he will cherish generosity very much and will not be stingy with his trust in the friends he considers. But if you don't trust me 100%, then I can only shut you out. This kind of little Lynn is very charming in my opinion (Potter, take a good look at your Lynn, Astoria is keeping an eye on you). I have been writing for a long time, deleting, editing, and editing. Everything is my love for little Lynn and the author❤️❤️❤️I must keep writing well [laughs]

Very powerful work. Really awesome. Unlike ordinary online novels, the author has left quite a lot of manuscripts, so he is quite comfortable in arranging the plot structure, and it is quite refreshing to read it in one sitting. Of course, the price is that after the tie-up, you can't wait to turn over and over again. Affected by the plot of the original book, when I read the previous content (mainly the content before the Goblet of Fire finals), I was very confused about how this work greatly strengthened Voldemort's behavior. However, after reading the latest part of the fifth volume, I can probably understand the author's intention: In this turbulent era when the wizarding world and the Muggle world merge, and magic and technology merge, there are people and forces of various political spectrums on both sides, trying their best to expand their influence so as not to fall behind and get a piece of the pie. There are progressive forces, and naturally there are conservative ones. Among them, the most extreme and deep-rooted pure-blood sect and the hermetic sect, as forces that have existed for hundreds of years, naturally have to speak out. So instead of creating another character as their representative, it is better to directly reuse Voldemort. At the same time, Voldemort himself will be defeated. The fate of the pure-blood sect and the hermetic sect will show the end. From this perspective, it is reasonable and inevitable to strengthen Voldemort to the level of ggad. The love line is sweet and delicious. Family is family. Family cannot become lovers (bushi). Well, it feels good to put family first and then lover, haha. The latest part was finally kissing me, with tears in my eyes. Returning from the second brush is really a rare work. The most rare thing is that there are almost no shortcomings: world view setting, career line, emotional line, character portrayal, character ability growth and personality changes, combat scene description, it can be said that there are no shortcomings. The most rare part is the Goblet of Fire. The original characters often have some flaws. In addition, during the Goblet of Fire period, they often grow up to have considerable combat power. If they participate in the Triwizard Tournament, they are basically destined to win. Then how can Voldemort be resurrected with Harry's blood? Therefore, the original characters are usually banned directly and are not allowed to participate. The most eye-catching treatment in this book is here: it was indeed banned, but another way was used to allow Voldemort to achieve his goal. And because of the changes from the original work, the author specially redesigned the format and process of the top three matches. This is much higher than the average level of fan fiction, plus the author can write battle scenes, making watching the Triwizard Tournament both novel and exciting. Big cheers for the author＾0＾~ p. S. I suddenly realized the deliciousness of dual male protagonists. How can a man and a woman sleep together first and then fall in love? How to get close to each other in public places? Delicious. Delicious.

I feel like the protagonist's character is very fleshed out! Compared with the protagonists of other books, he is much better! The protagonists I've seen before feel like their characters are empty-handed and mindless. The author's writing is so good! The plot is also very ups and downs! I will continue to follow up with updates (๑´∀`๑). Great support from the author.

The protagonist has very ambitious goals and wants to do big things. The writing is pretty good, I think it's better than most of the hp fan writing I've read here. I'll give it four stars. I wanted to write a strong protagonist, so I stacked a lot of skills and There are too many buffs, including alchemy, magic, magic, prophets, the Internet, games, live broadcasts, business, Slytherin heirs, Black blood, gods, original things... So there are many, many branches. I actually like long stories, but this one has too many branches, and I spent a lot of pen and ink writing it. The multi-character skill upgrades made me very tired. After a while, the plot or emotional line made some progress, and the upgrade process started again😮‍💨Sometimes it is obvious that some plots are specially designed based on the plot of the original work. It feels like shooting an arrow first and then drawing a target, rather than "I can hit it this way!". Some of the characters' attitude changes are a bit dramatic. I saw that I skipped the upgrade process later on. After looking through the directory, there were many such titles, so I could only stop here [face covering] I looked at the table of contents and found that nearly 900 chapters are not yet finished... The author is really awesome, Risby. It would be nice if the plot could be more compact. The main line is intermittent, and there are too many upgrade and development processes inserted in the middle, which easily interrupts the mood. There is also the love line, which starts too early. The main character, Harry, is in the second grade. He is too young for me. Although they are almost the same age, the second grade feels different from the third grade. Hahaha [face covering] The love line starts too early, and there is no obvious upgrade for a long time. There are too many R&D, business, games and other branch lines in the middle, which makes time seem to pass very slowly and dragging. Obviously the protagonist has just started school in the third grade, but I feel like several years have passed and I can't be immersed in it at all [face covering]

I have to say that this book really overturned my understanding of fan fiction and dual male protagonists, which are classified into detailed labels. The images of each person are very vivid and not stereotyped. Everyone has such complex and multi-faceted emotions, and they all have clear motives behind them. Especially when Linn burst into tears for the first time, the emotions laid out before and after were very delicate and real, as if he could truly feel the oppression of the environment and the distrust of others at that time. Unfortunately, there are more and more branch plots and descriptions of improving strength as the book goes on. Although it will greatly enrich the details of the book, the rhythm is a bit dull. Moreover, there is a long description of relationships at the end, with neither knives nor particularly sweetness. There are only a few descriptions of jealousy, and the relationship between Harry and Lynn seems to have been soaked in warm water. After the previous surprises, the following plot made me feel more like reading a novel about a male channel with no cp, constantly making money and upgrading to improve my strength, mixed with a little bit of emotional description. Finally, regarding the combat power, I always feel that the design is still a bit stiff. Perhaps the strength given at the beginning exceeds expectations, and the definition of strength is not clear enough. In the later period, I can feel that the author is constantly patching, comparing with other characters, and constantly adding descriptions of the process of improving strength. And I can feel that Voldemort's presence is very low. He just constantly describes possible harms to create pressure so that the protagonist can continuously improve himself. This makes me feel that the world's combat power is Dumbledore>Voldemort>Lynn>everyone else. This setting makes me feel that the world view is very small, and the character image and combat power are separated to a certain extent. To sum up, the emotional part at the beginning is very amazing, but the plot at the end is a bit bland, and the combat design is not perfect. However, as a double male protagonist fanfic, this is the best one I have read so far.

Gu, the setting and plot of this book are so excellent. Gu, the overall quality is definitely in the top ten among all hp fans on this platform. The portrayal of the protagonist is definitely one of the best in this volume of text, and it's definitely worth reading. The emotional line is a little behind, but the friendship line is very well written, and the supporting characters are perfect. (One of the few Wengu who has some brains in Fudge (?

It is worth recommending. I feel that the rating of this book is really low. There are very few people who have read it. I haven't even seen a few paragraph reviews. When I saw someone mention this issue, emmm, I feel so bad. I won't recommend good books, but I will recommend some of my Ju Lei stuff. I mainly listened to books. I was a little dissuaded when I heard about Lin En's frustrating experience and school life, but I continued to listen (PS: I was listening to it at work and couldn't spare the time to change to other books). The next turning point was when Lin En angrily criticized everyone in the principal's office. , I feel a little refreshed. The relationship between Harry and Harry is also very well written. There are conflicts and reconciliations in a natural progression. Their interactions are really cute. They have changed a lot of things and it is difficult to reconcile. I can say it very warmly. It is really refreshing to cause trouble in the Ministry of Magic. It is very satisfying to watch those moths eat away. Regarding Harry's aunt's family, the author's description is quite realistic. She was rejected by Hogwarts because she had no magic power twenty years ago. She has always hated magic because of love and hatred, so she also hates her sister and her son, but she also has a desire for magic in her heart. When Harry said that Muggles can also use magic, Petunia's heart was inevitably rippled, and Fenon also followed Petunia because of his love. She hated magic in her heart, but when she saw Penny showing her desire for magic, he was willing to pay some price to realize this seemingly absurd vision (well, it was written a bit too much, scratching my head. When the jpg author described this paragraph, I felt that it was well written, and it captured the hearts of ordinary people. Everyone is not pure white, and they all have their own favorite and disgusting things. I feel like I am doing reading comprehension) I won't comment on it until it's tied with the ones behind it. Lynn is smart and cold? A little bit, right? In terms of emotional response, it's a bit slow or depressed? Personal understanding haha) However, he will always show tolerance to his own people. To Luna, he will confirm what Luna sees and help him. To Draco, he will teach Draco when he shows his talent in alchemy. When Harry runs away from home, he will take him back to his castle to give him a place to stay, etc. Lynn will help many people and will retaliate against those who target him. Generally speaking, Lynn is a good child. This is the first time I have written something so long, and I feel so awesome (*σ´∀`)σ. There is still a lot that I haven't written yet. If you read this comment, you can read it in the book. The author really writes a lot of details, and the logic is self-consistent. There is nothing like random writing to fool people. Once again, the author's writing is very good and worth recommending. I have to recommend it to others ヾ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ

I always like to read fanfics that are close to HP's original work! This article is very interesting! The character creation is very good. Many characters who are relatively flat in the movie have become vivid, and the interaction with the protagonist Linn is warm and loving! The plot setting is also relatively complete. We have seen the Triwizard Competition, which complements the magic settings of many characters. Now I am very curious about how Linn's magic power will further grow in the future! Currently I am looking forward to fighting the boss, and also looking forward to the emotional line between Linn and Harry! I hope the author will write more and faster! (But I don't want it to end, I want to keep watching hehe

Very beautiful! The character setting of the protagonist is very refreshing. At the same time, the characterization of the original characters retains the basic settings of the original work while also adding some of the author's own understanding and thinking about the original characters. The plot design and overall advancement as well as the writing style are also very stable. Seeing that the author has been updating it for more than 300 days continuously, not only the settings and characters have not collapsed after reading such a long page, but you can also clearly feel the growth and changes of the main characters. It is really written with great care. I'm really looking forward to Boss finishing this book. It's really my favorite HP fan novel I've ever read on Tomato.