The Grave Robbers' Chronicles: One Bird, Three Generations; Its Master Is Gone, but the Bird Remains!

[All pairings welcome + ship whoever you like + inhuman protagonist + unhinged, absurd comedy]

I'm Ai Ke, a smart parrot so handsome I could split the sky. The System insists I look like Patrick Star? Fine. Cuteness is a valuable asset too.

It gave a careless flick of its tiny hand and tossed me into 1931, right under the noses of the Old Nine Gates. I had barely made myself known when the System started rushing me: “Fly south!”

This conceptual-god System plays dirty. It fast-forwarded the seventy-two days it would take me to flap my way there. In the blink of an eye, my claws were gripping the roof tiles of Wu Shan Ju in 2003, and I hadn't even gotten a speck of dust in my mouth.

One day, the System finally came up with something big: a shapeshifting pill!

The pill went down burning hot. My bones cracked, my feathers fell away, and new skin grew in... I'm screwed! I turned into a human! What am I supposed to do without feathers?

Then I met the Tender Beef Five...

Wu Xie's eyes went round as bells. “Holy crap! This little thing... no, this person knows Zhang the Bald, Li Si, and Lord Xie Jiu?!”

Bottle of Oil furrowed his brow. “Familiar. A little.”

Black Glasses' hands moved so fast they blurred. “First come, first served! Let's take him home and raise him. We'll get to know him!”

Xie Yuchen didn't even look up. “A money pit? One more won't make a difference.”

Wang Pangzi grabbed Wu Xie and made for the door. “What nonsense are you spouting? Come on, we're buying groceries! Nobody's going hungry, least of all the kid!”

“Um... I'm really not a Taotie...”

No more feathers, but the food seems... even better now? This transmigration was totally worth it?