I Transmigrated into a Qin Dynasty Eunuch, with a Supermarket in My Pants

Office drone Lin Xiaoqiang unexpectedly transmigrates into the body of a little eunuch in Great Qin. He wakes up in the castration chamber with his pants stuffed full of potato chips. To his horror, he discovers that an entire supermarket is bound inside him. He bribes the chief eunuch with cola and buys off the guards with spicy strips. When sanitary pads are mistaken for immortal shoes and presented to Zhao Gao, and a lighter sets a beacon tower ablaze, he panics. Then he sees Qin Shi Huang grimacing as the dragon throne digs into him. Lin Xiaoqiang pulls out a memory-foam cushion. “Your Majesty, why not try this?” The court erupts in an uproar, but Ying Zheng closes his eyes in comfort. “This is marvelous. Reward him!” Lin Xiaoqiang seizes the chance to offer advice: “Your Majesty, it’s easy to choke on milk tea when you’re kneeling. How about… changing the court rituals?”