Ultraman: This Godzilla Just Wants to Lie Flat and Get a Government Job

The day I was reborn as a baby Godzilla, experts around the world went insane. They called me the "Twilight of the Gods," the ultimate doomsday weapon. But all I, Wang Xiaoming, cared about was whether the cafeteria was serving fried chicken legs today. Humans built me an ecological island, and I spent every day teasing my caretakers. "Keep up the good work. Big G's got you covered." That is, until a lava monster and a red giant destroyed half the city fighting each other. The humans came crying and begged me to step in. I reluctantly spat out a puff of fire, still munching on potato chips. The lava monster vaporized on the spot, and Ultraman froze in place. I pawed through the wreckage of the police cars littering the ground. "Can I get reimbursed for these? I want to drive a real car for fun." The day the global special forces assigned me an official post, I became the first Godzilla in history to earn a salary. "Just pay my full benefits and keep the chicken legs coming." I lounged at the base, clutching my toy car.