Behind the Scenes on Earth: My Elf Acts Superhuman in the Chat Group

The good news: My name is Mu Zhengju. I transmigrated to the Ming Dynasty, came top in all six imperial examinations, served six reigns, and became a powerful Grand Secretary and tutor to three emperors. The bad news: The emperor of this generation is an idiot who plans to go to Tumu Fortress as an exchange student. The worse news: The sky screen is livestreaming every one of my outrageous schemes to the founding emperor, Zhu Yuanzhang! … I thought I’d spend this life handling political schemes, working for the Zhu family to earn good karma, and enjoying a peaceful retirement. Unfortunately, there’s always someone making me work overtime. I want to drink tea, but Emperor Zhu Qizhen insists on going to Tumu Fortress to “study abroad.” I have to set down my teacup and show him what “the authority of a tutor to three emperors” means (get lost). I want to admire the flowers, but the sky screen insists on broadcasting how I once talked Zhu Di into launching the Jingnan Campaign. Mu Zhengju (looking utterly convinced): “Remove the corrupt officials, uphold Heaven’s will, and pacify the rebellion. You are Taizong!” Zhu Di (shaking with excitement): “Sir, you truly are a man of divine wisdom!” I want to sleep, but my student Yu Qian comes to ask why I’ve become so cold-blooded. I roll my eyes. “Child, if you don’t understand political schemes, how will you save the Ming? Do you think your righteousness can move the Oirat army?” The officials: “If Lord Mu does not step forward, what hope is there for the people?” The emperor: “Grand Tutor, save me!” On the other side of the sky screen, Zhu Yuanzhang watches me persuade his son Zhu Di to rebel and trembles with rage: “Rebellion!… No, that grandson of mine is so useless. Let the fourth son take over! And listen, investigate this! Bring that Mu Zhengju here in chains to serve as my prime minister!” Zhu Di: “Wait, the sky screen revealing the future is one thing, but, Father, stealing a man across time is a little unfair, isn’t it?!”