NBA: This Version of LeBron James Is Almost Too Good to Be True

The biggest draft blunder of the 2004 NBA draft, and the most outrageous second-round pick in history!

After the System made a mistake, I got the rookie LeBron James 1.0 version for free, then awakened the martial arts secret technique Star Absorption Art. I could choose to absorb my opponent's fundamentals from the next three months, or their peak abilities for three minutes!

Provoke their emotions, and I get it all for free!

Fine, fine! You look down on me, a little yellow-skinned nobody? Then I'll become the league's public enemy!

Trash talk is my basic attack, and fighting is how I make a living!

With the LeBron James 1.0 template, the coaching staff all chimed in: “Just imitate the King!”

But you used this once-in-fifty-years talent to become his kryptonite!

Oh, and you even splurged on actresses!

You're either flirting with women or stirring up trouble!

A hard-nosed playing style, bringing back the tough guys of the 1990s!

Packed with hilarious catchphrases and outrageous antics that turn everything upside down!

Q: You went to Philadelphia and teamed up with Iverson as a dynamic duo. Why do actresses keep throwing themselves at you like there's no tomorrow?

A: To make Philly even spicier!

Q: How would you rate your work ethic in the NBA?

A: I may not be able to stay alive, but I can't go without a bit!

[High-energy action + comedy + System + character growth]

The retreating Wolf, Garnett; the peace-loving Artest; Big Ben, steady as a bell and drum; and Gilbert Arenas, who pulls a gun out anywhere, are all on my list of enemies.

The story begins with the Lakers...