A Famous Qing Dynasty Minister: I Am Heshen

Every man for himself, or Heaven and Earth will destroy him. That's Heshen!

Excerpts from Heshen's sayings...

Qianlong: Heshen, the imperial treasury is running a little low.

Heshen: Don't worry, Your Majesty. Just marry the Eighth Princess to me, and I'll take some troops and raid the homes of a few heartless rich men to replenish the treasury!

Qianlong: Heshen, the Mongols are acting up again. They want to invade our Great Qing along the border.

Heshen: Don't worry, Your Majesty. Just marry the Ninth Princess to me, and I'll take some troops and raid the Mongols' lair. That'll teach them to behave.

Qianlong: Heshen, I've realized there are far too many corrupt officials in our Great Qing!

Heshen: Don't worry, Your Majesty. Just marry the Tenth Princess to me, and I'll take some troops...

Qianlong: All right, all right, stop talking! Heshen, tell me, besides coveting my daughters and raiding people's homes, what else can you do?

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.