American Comics: A Gotham Bystander Watches the Joker and Batman's All-Out Brawl

After transmigrating to Gotham, Connors bound himself to a gossip System. As long as he watched superheroes and villains get into trouble, he could claim rewards. He spent his days sitting in a tavern, listening to Wonder Woman gossip, until a car went out of control and crashed on the street corner. Harley Quinn climbed out. The lunatic had just been dumped by the Joker and was laughing wildly as she brandished a baseball bat. Connors knocked her out with a chop to the neck and carried her back to his apartment that night.

The next day, he had a new sidekick in black stockings. On the third day, Spider-Sense alerted him to Cindy Moon. She flipped down from the roof, webbed him upside down, and kissed him through her mask. Connors looked at the web-fluid she was licking from her lips, then at the Bat-Signal outside the window. "Do DC and Marvel really just cross over this casually?"

That night, he used the Green to shape a cactus into Batman's likeness, scaring his neighbors into calling the police. Batman himself flew over to investigate. As he passed Connors' window, Connors appeared in the gap between the curtains, smoking a cigarette after sex and waving at the Dark Knight. Bruce Wayne went silent over the comms for three seconds. "Alfred, look into the naked man on the nineteenth floor for me."

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.