Naruto: Starting with the Rumble-Rumble Fruit, I Crush the Super Kage!

Uzumaki Sixia, the black market's top mercenary. He'd do anything for the right price. When Akatsuki came calling, he quoted a price per tail, one big target for each Tailed Beast. Kakuzu immediately turned hostile, and a Lightning Release: Lariat shattered two hearts with one punch, nearly giving the old man a heart attack. Orochimaru came to ask his rates. "Regular Sharingan, one price. Mangekyo, extra."

His employer turned around and sold him out to Danzo. Sixia laughed in fury, then used Lariat and Lightning Oppression Horizontal Chop to wipe out the entire Root squad. He also carried off the little Karin from a wooden crate.

A ten-pull got him the Rumble-Rumble Fruit, and the next pull got him the Lightning-Lightning Fruit. With Lightning Release and two Devil Fruits, was he going to become the Pirate King or the Hokage?

Obito came looking to recruit him. Sixia rubbed his hands together. "Just give me the go-ahead about Rin, and I'll take care of everything for you right now." Obito fell silent for three seconds, then turned and left, closing the door behind him.

The Five Great Villages secretly signed an agreement not to be the first to hire Sixia. Furious, Sixia slammed the table. "You dare band together to sabotage the free market? I've got a bag of rice ready for you. First, think about how many floors you can carry!" While Pain was still gathering Tailed Beasts, Sixia was already standing at the Super Kage's door with the Rumble-Rumble Fruit. It was time for the shinobi world to try a different way of life.

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.