From the Start, I Became a Father, and the Empress Sect Master Is My Wife

My name is Song Que, and I transmigrated here.

My dream is simple: find a cave and laze around until I die.

But when a passing demonic cultivator casually slapped me to death, my "golden finger"... no, my "middle finger of gold" finally arrived.

[Ding! Congratulations, Host, on achieving the "Slapped to Death by a Random Nobody" accomplishment! Death rating: 3/10. What a loser! You are now bound to the "Three Realms Gold-Medal Guide to Dying in Spectacular Ways" System. Survive one hundred creative attempts at dying! Failure penalty: You know what it is~]

From then on, I was forced down a path of spectacular death, facing it without fear.

I only wanted to get stabbed to death by a sword, but the righteous sect's Saintess said she had grasped the supreme Sword Dao from my will to die?

I only wanted to be refined by a demon lord, but a demonic behemoth said my bones were exceptional and I was a once-in-ten-thousand-years talent for refining demons?

At long last, I'd died a hundred times. I thought I could finally laze around.

[Ding! Congratulations on your new position! The "Top-Tier Survivalist Trainer of Myriad Realms" System is now online! Survive for three hundred years as the public enemy of the world!]

Me: "..."

I only wanted to laze around. Why does the whole world think I'm an unfathomably powerful master?

And this System, can't you act like a person for once?!

[What nonsense, Host? This System isn't a person to begin with. Nyah, nyah~]