My Wife Doesn't Eat People

The day Zhou Yan was laid off, a blind-date dinner turned him into the "subject of the contract": a 38,000-yuan deposit, the remaining demolition compensation, and a fanged woman named Liu Mingzhu. Ten years ago, his mother had already renewed his pledge for thirteen years in his name, mortgaging him beneath the Eternal Lantern at the City God Temple. Of its 418 clauses, the final one was still blank. His golden finger was a charred contract that could write on its own: Clause Zero could calculate his remaining lifespan, Supplementary Clause Three stated "all interest claimed by force shall be paid by the debtor," and there were also performance terms from the City God Temple. He went from suing as the second party to becoming the first party, took on all his mother's debts, crossed out "voluntary," and in return secured seventeen households in Longquan Alley and the incense offerings of an entire street.

**Recommendation**: He signed a contract selling himself at a blind-date dinner, then turned around and rewrote three generations of family accounts as the first party.