Livestreaming the Three Kingdoms: Lu Bu Seeks to Survive Online

Lü Bu, the Three Kingdoms' greatest sucker, is expected to go through the "calling your enemy father" routine from the start?

Watching the spoilers flood the screen, Lü Bu decides to throw the script out the window!

Dong Zhuo uses all his brute strength to force him to his knees, but Lü Bu counters with a shameless flop and sliding tackle, ranting that Luoyang's bricklayers must have smeared pork fat on the ground.

Li Ru demands he perform a formal bow to his new father, but Lü Bu plops down, rubs his knees, and wails that he's suffered from chronic knee pain for years!

He negotiates his salary on his knees, then names his price from the floor, turning a Hongmen Banquet into a job offer haggling session!

When Wang Yun summons him late at night to plot for the Han dynasty, Lü Bu gnaws on a leg of venison, grease dripping from his mouth: "Cut the nonsense. First, allocate a hundred shi of top-grade black beans for my Red Hare!"

The court's old foxes are so exasperated by him that they all assume he's just a crude, greedy bumpkin from beyond the frontier. Then Lü Bu slaps a bloodstained command token onto Wang Yun's desk, and a sudden, faint sound comes from behind the curtains...