A Report to the Empress Dowager: Your Majesty, They’re Digging Up the Wall

She had barely settled into her position as the youngest empress dowager in history when the emperor of an enemy state tried to steal her away.

“Reporting to the Empress Dowager: The enemy emperor has attacked our gates and says he’s here to steal you away.”

“What? He dares try to steal me from right under our noses? Seal the gates and lock down the city!”

“Reporting to the Empress Dowager: The enemy emperor says, ‘With a good enough hoe, what corner of the wall can’t be dug through?’” The eunuch cautiously raised his head again. “He also… he also said…”

“He’ll come dig at the wall tonight. He requests that the Empress Dowager bathe and change her clothes…”