A Report to the Empress Dowager: Your Majesty, They’re Digging Up the Wall

She had barely settled into the position of the youngest empress dowager in history when the emperor of an enemy nation tried to steal her away.

“Your Majesty, the enemy emperor has come to dig you out from under our wall.”

“What? He dares try to steal me away? Shut the gates and lock down the city!”

“Your Majesty, the enemy emperor says: ‘With a good enough hoe, what wall could you fail to dig through?’” The eunuch cautiously looked up again. “He also… also said…”

“He’s coming tonight to dig through the wall. He asks Your Majesty to bathe and change…”