Zeus, Why Are You on My Throne?

The notorious bandit Periphetes' wish list:

1. Become a good person and stop robbing travelers and innocent people.

2. Keep his temper under control and try not to smash anyone else's skull.

3. Heal his bad leg and walk like a normal person.

4. Break the ankle of the other foot of his father, Hephaestus, god of fire and smithing.

5. Beat up Ares, the homewrecker, and make him apologize to Hephaestus.

6. Crush Aphrodite, the adulterer, and make her apologize to Hephaestus.

7. Conquer Athena, goddess of wisdom, and make her offer herself to him.

8. Make Artemis, the hunting goddess who hates men, fall in love with him.

7. Take Poseidon's trident and forbid him from fathering monstrous offspring.

9. Provoke Hades, god of the underworld, into acting like a man and challenging Zeus to a duel.

10. Persuade Hera, queen of the gods, to divorce Zeus.

11. Release Typhon and have him pound Zeus into the ground.

12. Release Cronus, the Titan god of time and second-generation king of the gods, and have him pound his son Zeus into the ground.

13. Find Uranus, god of the sky and first king of the gods, and have him pound his son Cronus and grandson Zeus into the ground.

14. Awaken Gaia, mother goddess of the earth, and have her beat up her son and husband Uranus, her son Cronus, and her grandson Zeus.

Ultimate wish: Devour the gods' divine power and seize their authority.

After fulfilling every wish, Periphetes becomes the most powerful king of the gods in all of Greek mythology and casts Zeus from his throne.

Then he helps his follower Prometheus fulfill his wish:

Chain Zeus to Mount Caucasus and have an eagle peck out his liver.