The Entire Sect Is Helping Me Show Off

I have only one goal in this life: eat my fill and wait to die. Sweep the floor? Sure, it's just another chance to slack off. Collect my monthly allowance? Great, as long as it's enough to eat. Sect tournament? No thanks. All that fighting is bad for harmony. But for some reason, everyone in the sect keeps looking at me more and more strangely. I casually drew a circle while sweeping. The Scripture Pavilion elder trembled. “This is... the long-lost Three Talents Spirit-Gathering Formation! A master has been right beside me all along!” I yawned while basking in the sun. A true disciple said solemnly, “The gentleman is comprehending the Heavenly Dao and returning to simplicity!” I gave half a steamed bun to an injured stray cat by the road. The sect's divine guardian beast dropped to its knees on the spot. “Thank you, Immortal, for your enlightenment!” I casually complained, “The food in the dining hall keeps getting saltier.” The head chef quit overnight to start refining pills, and eventually became the supreme master of alchemy. Lin Xian: “???” I'm really not some great master! I just want to quietly eat my fill and wait to die! Could you all stop imagining things?! Years later, immortals from across the world came to pay homage, and emperors bowed before him. Looking at the figure sweeping on the mountain peak, everyone bowed in unison: “Please, Master, save the world!” Clutching his broom, Lin Xian stared in confusion. “I was just sweeping... How about you all sit down and have some tea first?” The immortals: “As expected of a master, so composed! None of us could match such a level of self-control!” Lin Xian: ... I can't live like this anymore.