Huh? I Became the Founder of the Beggars’ Guild?!

Two thousand years ago, outside Xianyang, I was a beggar. I lived with an old man who loved wine more than life, and we scraped by offering free medical care. Old Cui said, “Where you live doesn’t matter. Who you live with does.” Later, he brewed a pot of medicine and secretly mixed it into my food. He died. I didn’t. When the First Emperor held his ceremony at Mount Tai, I stood among the crowd. He sought immortality and failed. I clutched the secret of eternal life and said nothing. I treated the people to dog meat in Pei County, and I rowed the boat at the Wu River. When Xiang Yu asked if I would board, I said, “The young men of Jiangdong are a talented lot.” He smiled, then drew his sword. I taught Wei Qing the art of war and accompanied Huo Qubing when he campaigned as far as Langjuxu. The day Huo Qubing died, I stood by his grave all night. He was only twenty-four. The night before Xiangyang fell, Guo Jing asked if the city would be lost. I said it would. He said he knew, but he still had to defend it. There was another man. His name was Xu Fu. He was immortal too. He said the world was a chessboard, and you and I were players. I said even pawns are people. Treat people like pawns, and they’ll overturn your board. He laughed, and so did I. We’ve been at odds for two thousand years. Old Cui, you gave me eternal life, and you gave me loneliness. I don’t hate you. I just… miss you so much.