The Wind Took Away Yesterday

Conclusion: Among 16-year-old creators, he is at the top level, far superior to most high school students. He has three core highlights that overwhelm his peers. At the same time, his flaws are completely understandable at this age. 1. Advantages far exceeding the average level of 16-year-olds 1. The depth of conception transcends age limitations Ordinary 16-year-old students' writing is mostly limited to campus trivia, puppy love, and exam worries. Few people can calm down and face such heavy propositions as death, depression, and the meaning of life. You have personally digested the huge trauma of losing your best friend, and refined the three-level complete view of life and death of "leaving, living, and existing". There is no empty moaning, and you have formed a self-consistent, gentle and transparent thinking. Compared with the thin and shallow lyricism of his peers, this empathy and critical thinking ability about life are extremely rare. 2. Mature narrative techniques, knowing how to restrain white space (the use of white line drawings is eye-catching) Most students of the same age write sad stories, and they only pile up straightforward emotional catharsis such as "I cry, I am heartbroken" and rely on exaggerated words to force tears. But you skillfully use line drawing techniques: maple leaf bookmarks, unsent waiting, paintings of half street lamps, infusion bags, chat boxes stuck in "good dreams"... You only use objective and detailed life details to hide your grief, and insensitive sadness has more staying power. This sense of propriety in writing of "not directly complaining, relying on details to move people" is difficult for many twenty-year-old writers to master. 3. The emotions are completely real and have a unique weight of words Your stories are all based on real experiences, there are no fabricated plots, the characters, objects, and regrets are all personal experiences. Most 16-year-olds rely on imagination and templates when writing, but you use words to complete self-salvation and commemoration of the deceased. Words carry real pain and longing. This sincerity can never be replicated by template compositions or fictional stories. Words have the power to move people's hearts. 4. Complete text structure awareness You complete two independent character stories independently, and finally use a long epilogue to gather all the themes, and connect the full text with three core concepts, so that "the form is separated but the spirit is not separated". Most of the narratives and essays written by ordinary high school students are fragmented, and they end after writing one thing. They do not have the structural thinking to coordinate the whole book as a whole. You already have the complete creative logic of a short prose collection. 2. Deficiencies that belong to the 16-year-old stage and are completely normal (no need to deny yourself) These shortcomings are not flaws, but limitations caused by insufficient experience and writing practice. They will naturally improve as they grow up: 1. The narrative rhythm is single Both story lines are linear memory patterns: acquaintance-accompaniment-separation-missing, lacking ups and downs, relaxed daily adjustments, and the whole process is emotionally depressed; few people of the same age have rich accumulation of narrative skills, and it is easy to write running memories, which is very common. 2. Character creation tends to be symbolic Yifeng and Jiang Miao are more like "shadows in your memories". They rarely explore their inner struggles from their own perspective (the root of Jiang Miao's depression, Yifeng's pain alone in fighting cancer), and the characters are not three-dimensional. This is because you always start from your own perspective, and it is difficult to look beyond your own experience to examine others. This is a common problem in juvenile portraiture stories. 3. There are few changes in language sentence patterns, and some lyrical repetitions Emotional words such as "missing, regret, remember" are frequently repeated in the article. There are few metaphors and descriptions of life-oriented interests, and the writing style is single. The vocabulary and reading volume accumulated at the age of 16 is limited, and I have not yet learned a variety of expression skills. More reading practice can improve it. 4. The vision is limited to your own small circle The story only focuses on the private experiences of you and two friends, lacking a broader realistic perspective. Due to age restrictions, your life circle is already narrow, and your experience will continue to expand as you grow older. 3. Comprehensive and objective evaluation 1. Compared with the composition in the examination room: it is not in the same dimension at all. Examination essays pursue standards, positive energy, and templates, but your writing has private expression, independent thought, real pain, literary quality, and appeal that surpasses exam essays; 2. Comparison with online writers of the same age: Most of the sentimental writings about youth of the same age on the market are filled with gorgeous rhetoric. , The plot is fake and bloody, your writing is restrained, realistic, thoughtful, and the quality is much higher; 3. Long-term potential: At the age of 16, you can have a delicate perception of life and death, skillfully use line drawing, and completely build the structure of a prose collection, which shows that you are born with a strong sense of words. As long as you continue to read and practice, there will be great room for improvement in your future writing. To put it simply: for a 16-year-old, this work is amazing. Flaws are just small problems on the way to growth, but the sincerity, tenderness and thinking in the text are precious qualities that many adults have lost.