You Said We'd Just Date Online, So Why Did You Bring a Paper Effigy to College to Force Me to Marry You?

Gu Changqing is A University's aloof, ascetic heartthrob. At eighteen, while gaming, he casually messaged his online girlfriend: “Be good. I'll marry you after graduation.” A few years later, when he is a sophomore, a stunning young woman named Zhu Sangluo suddenly appears outside the girls' dorm. She wears traditional western Hunan clothing and antique silver jewelry, and carries a peachwood sword on her back. She pulls out a marriage certificate and slaps it against Gu Changqing's chest. “Husband, I've come down from the mountain to consummate our marriage!” The whole campus erupts! Gu Changqing thinks she's an obsessed chuunibyou fan, until... In the middle of the night, she turns the balcony into a ritual altar, burns talismans, and summons lightning, while the dorm supervisor blasts her with a fire extinguisher. At hot pot, she mistakes the spicy broth for a blood pool and tosses a yellow talisman in to “ward off evil and cleanse the foul.” When the campus beauty's jealous rival tries to act all sweet and innocent, she whips out a restraining talisman and slaps it onto the girl's forehead. “Don't be afraid, sister. I've already subdued the evil spirit inside you!” Gu Changqing is at his wit's end. Even worse, several of Zhu Sangluo's corpse-driving senior brothers, all over six feet tall and surrounded by sinister energy, come down the mountain to abduct him as their live-in son-in-law! Just as Gu Changqing thinks they're going to turn him into a living corpse, he discovers the burly men are glued to their phones, binge-watching steamy videos and guzzling pearl milk tea as they shout, “Little junior sister, modern life is amazing! Let him be the son-in-law. We're not going back to the mountain!” Then one day, the thousand-year-old seal beneath A University begins to loosen, and ghosts run rampant through the night. Zhu Sangluo, usually so adorably ditzy, pulls out her hairpin, and thousands of paper figures fly out of her backpack, transforming into divine generals. She stands in front of Gu Changqing and grins with wild abandon. “Don't be afraid, husband. Just watch me turn this bunch of losers into fertilizer!”