The Black Code of God's Domain

After reading the first chapter, I feel that the author's writing skills are very good, especially the creation of the atmosphere through the description of the environment, which is very exciting. Here are some areas of improvement that I personally think are possible (for reference only): 1. The amount of information in the first chapter is a bit large, the timeline is complicated, and it is not easy to understand. Aoki and Ling Wei, or the male protagonist and the female protagonist, use flashbacks. In the first part, Aoki vows to protect Ling Wei to the death, and in the later part, it tells the story of Aoki awakening his spirit, being alienated by his mother, and yearning for other children. The amount of information can be large, but the prerequisite is that the structure is clear and there are points of memory. However, the author's narrative may be a bit flat: he writes about protecting to the death, but does not know why; he writes about a mother's alienation from her children, but does not know why she is alienated. Readers will feel confused before becoming interested; and it lacks Aoki's inner activities, which is not enough to give a sense of immersion. 2. You can refer to Naruto. When Naruto was a child, he was hated and disliked because of the Kyuubi. However, instead of feeling resentment, Naruto developed the ambition to become Hokage and protect the village. This is what makes him different from ordinary people. Novels often need such "counter-intuitive". 3. The suggestion is to streamline the information and use pen and ink to describe a plot to reflect the great changes in Aoki's life and his inner feelings. It can also include not only his mother, but also his father and even his grandfather's influence on him, which can make the content more vivid and easy to understand.

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