Dream of Pity God

After reading three chapters, let me briefly summarize the plot: the protagonist Feng Ling was the youngest son of the Feng family in the upper world in his previous life. Due to the plot of his family, he died with a trace of his soul in the lower world, and then fell into the fate of being harvested by Fairy Qingshui at the beginning. This tonic was also a real tonic. When the wind spirit was about to die, he activated the Jade Pendant of the Golden Finger Immortal Emperor and got three opportunities to change his fate. First, he took revenge on Fairy Qingshui, and then he went to fight against the Fengxue Sword Sect in order to get back his abducted sister. Let's talk about the advantages first: 1. The author's writing style is adequate, the story is told clearly, and there are almost no poisonous points in the narrative. 2. The supporting characters are also pretty well portrayed. Fairy Qingshui, Gou Sheng, and Mo Caidi all have memorable images, and they are not considered facial makeup characters. Let's talk about the areas that can be improved (for reference only): 1. The positioning of the protagonist Avenger is okay, but the plot is too streamlined. According to the logic of revenge, readers can easily guess the direction of the plot. Revenge has no characteristics, and the image of the protagonist also lacks characteristics. For example, in the first chapter, the image of Fairy Qingshui is really well established. She has maintained her innocence for hundreds of years, but for the sake of the future of the sect, she chooses to take off her gown and embark on the road of tonic. She was mentally tortured beforehand. It only needs a little foreshadowing, such as the protagonist Feng Ling being able to sense her intolerance, and then choosing to let her go, or even help her break through, and accept her as a subordinate, etc. It would be good. Some of these actions will make the protagonist's image more vivid. Then he wants to take revenge, so he uses the sect as a vest to operate behind the scenes, constantly search for resources, and form his own team. Isn't the Fengxue Sword Sect about to be corrupted? The protagonist can engage in sects targeting the Fengxue Sword Sect without having to vent his anger on such a poor sect that is about to close down. I think it will be more interesting. 2. The description of cultivation is too vague. In fantasy novels, the progress of cultivation and the fighting scenes are great points. However, the cultivation of the protagonist is a bit brushed off. It is mentioned that the protagonist is a spirit body of yin and yang and five elements. The spirit is a butterfly. When fighting, he only stabs others with a sword, which merges with the shadow of the sword. There is a lack of interaction between cultivation and fighting. If written like this, Huang Yu cast Phoenix Phantom, which was almost immortal and burned the protagonist with fierce flames. Feng Ling was immediately at a disadvantage, but he did not panic. The ordinary iron sword in his hand actually stirred up yin and yang energy. The phantom of the phoenix is ​​slowly eroded by the yin and yang qi, transforming into a spiritual energy without attributes. Feng Ling drank the spiritual energy with a gentle breath, and his cultivation level also improved. Having a few fights like this can support the combat system. Finally, I wish the author to write better and better and sign the contract as soon as possible!

Leave yourself a comment to decompress.

There are many female protagonists who need to be encouraged, come on, and gain weight.

Changed your name? It turns out to be called Luo Hua Shen Nu Lu, right? 🤔

It's so perseverant that I can still write 500,000 words before it's published.

No, buddy, 470,000 words are not on the shelves, how do you persist?

Why haven't the books with 350,000 words been put on the shelves? I've seen some books with 200,000 words put on the shelves.

Who is the heroine😰

Beautiful, love to watch 👍

Stupid novel? 🤐

Good writing, support!

Is there anyone 🙂

The time in July stays in July, August, and there are still August stories to write. This is my first visit and has been added to the bookshelf. Hello August you, hello💐 My new book is also online. Welcome to visit me.

The top ten novels are all written by AI. This is pretty good.

Not bad. Come on, author, and update more.

Come on, author, it must be finished.

But it's still pretty good-looking, but it feels a little fleeting and a little more detailed than "outline writing", but it does go by very quickly, and the plot and other aspects