Tegua Eternal Paradise

Thanks for the hug. Let me talk about what I saw in these two chapters; A lonely man, Jiang Quan, was pulled into a strange live broadcast, and now he needs to perform a show. Advantages: The individual details are well described. Disadvantages: 1. The sense of logic is severely fragmented He is an orphan in an orphanage, where did the neighbors in his hometown introduce him to him? A project team that can teleport and possess supernatural powers, will they be afraid that he will hang up the phone? How did he know he could teleport? A paranormal project team that can speak in the head needs biometric identification through a camera? Everyone was noisy when he entered. After he entered, everyone's words of welcome for him rang in their heads, and everyone became quiet. Then people who came before were not welcome? The most important point is that he was so smooth in his transition. One second he was hesitating, but the next second he just admitted it? There are others, let's talk about these first. In summary, just one sentence: The author knows ≠ the protagonist knows. 2. Procrastination In the horror live broadcast track, I personally think that it must attract readers as soon as possible. The parts that can be compressed must be compressed, and the parts that cannot be written must be deleted. To briefly mention a few points, such as his colleagues, chatter in the live broadcast room, his daily chores, changes and deletions, and compression that should be compressed. 3. Insufficient intentional depiction You talked about loneliness, but you didn't write about loneliness. Hide his loneliness in words. 4. The visual sense is not enough 110,000 people, do you understand the concept? Did you go out to play on May Day? Any sea of ​​people you see is less than 110,000 people. But in your description there are only a dozen people feeling. Summary: Let's just say that much first, thank you for the hug, but thank me, I will also talk about the content realistically. Instead of bragging you mindlessly. Above.