Visitors from the Virtual World

My opinion is, if you don't plan to use Taoist temples as anchors, then reduce the length of Taoist temples. The other most important point is to change the book title and introduction to an attractive one. If you can't bookmark it, you will most likely die here. The editor will give you a pass without even reading the text. Why? It comes from the starting point mechanism. It is said that the traffic of unsigned books basically comes from readers reading a book. After scrolling to the last page, there is a xx book of the same type that you may also want to read. There is a row there. Your book will be displayed only in this place. If the introduction of your book title is not attractive, no one will click on it. No one will read your text. How can you save it and follow it? If you don't follow up, you won't be able to sign. Either you go for internal submission. The internal submission editor also needs to read the book title and introduction.

The overall feeling is okay, at least it's not random writing. Let me talk about what I saw in the first chapter: A 16-year-old Taoist priest traveled through time, and without an ID card, he could be taken away at any time. Advantages: Environment description and world view structure, it can be seen that a lot of effort has been put into it, and the setting should have a complete set of logic. Having a foundation is not a castle in the air. Disadvantages: 1. Is the bronze carriage a foreshadowing? I have the impression that you wrote it at least three times, which is a bit redundant, because each time you seem to describe the surrounding environment. 2. The protagonist is missing. Your world view can be established in the first chapter, but I always feel that the protagonist cannot. You simply buried the foreshadowing that he was a martial arts prodigy or had a high level of understanding, and gave him the status of a Taoist priest, but that was gone. It gives me the feeling that everything about him is what you said. There is no sense of substitution. 3. Time travel is too hasty. I was stunned, and for some reason I started writing about cleaning. I found a jade stone for some reason, and I thought it was a USB flash drive for some reason, and then I traveled through time. It feels like it can be properly paved. 4. False Taoist Temple You described the Taoist Temple at the beginning, but this Taoist Temple has always been a background board like a castle in the air. No one, as I said before, everything is summarized by you, and there is no sense of substitution. 5. The protagonist who has no emotions. After traveling through time, I no longer have any nostalgia for my master's Taoist temple. I don't remember anything about what happened before traveling through time. I just want to integrate into the new world right away, and I feel like I can't relate to it. 6. Nian Ya After the protagonist traveled through time, there was nothing like this, nothing like that, nothing like them, nothing like them, whatever happened to him. It feels sticky to read. 7. Procrastinating plot You have done three things, time travel, showing the world view, and leaving hooks. But you used a whole chapter. It feels like there is too little content and the plot advances too slowly. Because the actual plot progresses, there is only one thing to do: time travel. Finally, I read the first chapter while constantly trying to integrate into the plot you wrote. But I didn't integrate into it, maybe because I don't have enough empathy. Above.

It's okay. It can be seen that the author is trying hard to build an interesting world view. The writing is a bit green, but the foundation is quite solid. I look forward to the content behind it.