Occupy the Month

On the surface, it is an adventure story about a young man collecting spiritual beads, searching for the truth, and saving his sister. There are ancient wells, swords, trials, and battles. Burn where you should burn, cry where you should cry, and feel cool where you should feel refreshed. But after the cover-up, what stayed in my heart were not the fighting scenes, but a few quiet moments - Chu Tian held Su Yunli's hand in the ruined temple and said "You are still you"; Shen Qingyan used his frozen left hand to teach the young man to clean the dishes, and only said "the left hand is more important than the right hand"; Qian Duoduo did not say "I forgive you", but said "you still owe me, pay back slowly". These moments have a common theme: choice. It is not a hero's choice, not a choice to save the world. It is the choice of ordinary people. What should I do if I choose the wrong one? So what if you choose the right one? Su Yunli spent a whole book answering this question: She had chosen it many times, and she chose wrong every time. But she chose the right one at the most critical moment - not because she got better, but because she was afraid of dying alone. This reason is not great enough, but it is more convincing than any great reason. Because "fear of someone's death" is human instinct, and the choices people make driven by instinct are often more real than the choices they make driven by morality. Qian Duoduo is the character that makes me feel most distressed in the whole story. He's not a hero, he's just an ordinary guy who got involved. His father was killed. He didn't know who the murderer was. He only knew that Su Yunli had met his father. He gets angry, he leaves, he comes back. After he came back, he didn't say "I forgive you", he said "pay it back slowly". This is probably the most honest sentence in the book. Forgiveness is too light, hatred is too heavy. Only these three words "pay back slowly" can describe the debt between people just right. Shen Qingyan is another extreme. She never explains. She didn't explain why she helped Chu Tian, ​​she didn't explain why she helped Su Yunli burn the mark, and she didn't explain why she gave up Suzaku Nirvana. She just does it. Go get what needs to be done. With a frozen hand, he taught the new young man to clean the dishes. This kind of silent responsibility is more powerful than any heroic words. Of course there is Chu Tian. The most important choice he made was not to say "yes" in front of the Three Questions Stone Pillar, but to hold Su Yunli's hand and say "you are still you" when she was the most useless. This sentence is not comfort, but confirmation. Identifying a person is not when she is at her best, but when she has lost everything. This is probably the true meaning of the word "Chengwu" - to take over a person's most broken state, and then tell her that you are still there. Behind all these choices, there is a hidden line: wait. Chu Yue was waiting in the ice coffin. Su Yunli was waiting on the moon. Chutian was waiting in Chengwu store. Shen Qingyan waited for the ten-year agreement. Lin Yuanshan was waiting in Baidi Valley. Waiting is not passive, waiting is an active choice. To choose to wait is to choose to believe. Believe that the other party will come, believe that tomorrow will be better, believe that "continue to wait" is a complete answer in itself. The moon asks everyone: "What are you going to choose?" It's not because you make the right choice that you live, it's because you live that you can choose next time. "Occupy the Moon" is a novel about choices, costs and continued waiting. Its texture is very special - it has the skeleton of a traditional Chinese storybook and the flesh and blood of a modern novel. The settings of Lingzhu, Moon Watcher, and Tianmen are embedded in a story about people, without being blunt or showy. Those fights and trials are not to show off skills, but to push the characters into a corner and let them make real choices. Its language is also interesting. In the early stage, it had the crispness of a Jiang Hu storybook, but in the later stage, it settled into a calmness that is almost like prose. Especially in the last few chapters, the door of the Chengwu store is always open, and the moonlight shines through the threshold. The aftertaste of silence can make readers stare at the cover in a daze for a long time after closing the book. I suddenly remembered the old man's smile. Maybe the meaning of that smile is: it doesn't matter if you keep it or not, what's important is that someone is keeping it. Just like it doesn't matter whether the moon asks or answers the question, what matters is that someone is asking. Just like after reading Chapter 103, when you look up at the moon, you will think of those who have chosen, waited, paid off debts, and been silent. When the moonlight shines through the threshold, the door is open. That's enough.

I read the first chapter, and I must admit that your writing is very contagious and very comfortable to read. The article is also very high-quality and has a quiet and comfortable feeling of moisturizing things. The above are the advantages. Tell me what I don't like about it. Again, I think your writing style is better than mine. This is just an objective evaluation. It's not a guide, just the reader's feelings and the feelings of a fellow newcomer. Now let's talk about readers' feelings: Your writing is very fragmentary, without a main axis. You may say that the main axis is Blood Moon, but in fact the master steals the show. If you are the main axis and the master, then the blood moon will be very abrupt. And the article keeps talking about old objects and antiques. But it lacks actual texture support and feels empty. In other words, after watching it, all I can remember is the hairline cracks on the bowl. Others have no sense of picture. Maybe it's not important to you, and it has nothing to do with the plot. But the background plate should not be too rough. Let's talk about the author's feelings: 1. There is something wrong with your overall structure. Where is Chutian? Because you are writing almost in a documentary style, but Chutian is sometimes in front of the TV, sometimes in the backyard, sometimes in the hall, and sometimes outside the master's door. Except for the transition scene with a flashlight, everything else seems to be flashing. There is a sense of fragmentation that leaves people unmoved. 2. The protagonist's reaction is wrong. a. Faced with the master's cough, he commented on superstition. What does superstition have to do with coughing? b. Face the master and tell him he will give you the answer. This is a sentence that is different from the conventional word order. Normal people should not have no reaction. c. Faced with the unknown in the well, he jumped directly, and this was because the master said that it was not peaceful tonight. d. There were no mood swings throughout the process. When the master coughed, he did not react. When there was an abnormality in the well, he did not react. When he took out the beads, he did not react. 3. Lack of sense of logic. This includes the reaction mentioned in 2, and the protagonist suddenly going down the well. You wrote in your article that the well was three or four meters high, so... How did he get down? I looked back and took a look, only to realize that he had gone down the well. It looked baffling to me. The above is my personal opinion. I would be honored if my review helped you. If it affects your creative state, it is not my intention. Come on, you can write better than me! 😡