Shanhe Yi'an Volume

The first three pages are wrong. It is not clear whether the protagonist has kung fu or cultivation. Why the protagonist wants to chase the fortune teller is not clearly explained. Why Zhao Tieshan hired the protagonist was not made clear. The protagonist has kung fu or cultivation, but he is easily poisoned and knocked unconscious. He is the most poisonous point among poisons. He is a bit stupid and stupid. The protagonist cannot suffer from such a big weakness. —— You must have some ideas for this book. There is a lot of foreshadowing at the beginning, but you didn't explain it clearly, leaving the readers confused. The entry point was changed to, Chapter 1 Zhao Tieshan was sent to Qingfeng Taoist Temple because of evil spirits in his house. Invite the old Taoist priest to go down the mountain to do the ritual. The old Taoist priest has cultivated his moral character and stopped doing this. The protagonist volunteered to do the ritual. Explain that the Taoist temple is about to run out of pot. The protagonist has been eating boiled cabbage for two or three months. Now someone invites him and he wants to eat meat. During this period, he introduces the protagonist to time travel. The protagonist is looked down upon by Zhao Tiesheng, but he still respectfully invites him to go to his house. Then, he either meets a fortune teller on the way or at his house. The fortune teller is used to spread out a small world view, such as the cultivation system, evil spirits, fairy magic, etc. The fortune teller opens the second chapter. For example, when the protagonist encounters a fortune teller at his house, it is because the Zhao family has hired several Taoist priests and monks to do things, but it has no effect. The reason why he is looking for an old Taoist priest is because there is only this small Qingfeng Taoist temple without incense, so he can only find an old Taoist priest. The fortune teller is very famous in the county or county, and the Zhao family personally invited him. The Zhao family has completely different attitudes towards the two of them, one is respectful and the other is cold, which lays the groundwork for the subsequent protagonist to show off. If you want to write about being a show-off and a slap in the face, then write about the fortune teller who was dissatisfied with the Zhao family's work and actually hired someone else. He was still a shabby Taoist temple and simply ignored him. The fortune teller sincerely looks down on Qingfeng Taoist Temple, so he doesn't bother to ridicule the protagonist, but ignores him arrogantly. The Zhao Mansion is not stupid either. It will not drive the protagonist away until the matter is resolved. It can be written that the Zhao Mansion tactfully beats Zhao Tiesheng and lets him take the blame first. At the wine table, the protagonist wolfed down the food without eating, which shocked the whole audience. The fortune teller was even more dissatisfied. The protagonist looked like a beggar. The Zhao family quickly smoothed things over, toasted the fortune teller, said good things, and eased the atmosphere. At the same time, the Zhao family began to doubt whether this young boy was capable. He did not have the aura of a master, and his clothes and behavior were different from those Taoist monks before. This scene once again contrasts the protagonist with the fortune teller, raising the level of the fortune teller. This is to pave the way for the fortune teller to be kicked by the evil spirit and fly to the side of the road, so that the protagonist can deal with the evil spirit easily and freely, and increase the emotional value. After dealing with the evil spirits, the status of the protagonist, the fortune teller, and the Zhao family began to reverse, and everything before was reversed. (Handling the comparison between two people in this way is more advanced than pretending to be a pig and eating a tiger)

With a frosty ruler, the young man walked alone through the mountains and rivers thousands of miles into the sky.

It's so tiring to read. For someone like me who just glances at the book, it's really confusing. If you want me to read it word by word, it's like going back to when I was reading 😒😒😒

It's like watching a TV series, with various camera changes

Come on, let's preach together! Welcome to put it back on the bookshelf. We will go a long way slowly and we need each other's support! 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

The scene changed too quickly, it was cloudy and foggy.

The pace is too slow. I could speed up the first two chapters and hurry to where the conflict begins. Then there is the issue of world view. After reading three chapters, I only have a vague impression of this world view (this is not impossible). I will rewrite the introduction. I look forward to the next book being better.

The transition was wrong, it was too awkward. You can try to use al to polish it, otherwise you won't be able to see it at all.

Brother, I feel that there is something wrong with your layout. It is too long and uncomfortable to read. I suggest you optimize it so that the paragraphs should not be too long. 😁😁😁 On the computer, the writer's assistant may feel that it doesn't take long to code directly, but when you zoom in on the mobile phone, it will only be four or five lines, and it is easy to persuade people to quit