A Reality Diary That Does Not Require Rebirth

I finally went crazy. I once spent countless nights immersed in fantasy novels about rebirth, avoiding the pressure of reality, forgetting myself in the fantasy of eternal life, constantly improving my cultivation, defeating what I hate, and always being with the one I love. My spirit can no longer bear the reality of scarcity and the constant invisible torture, and is extremely fragile. I started to hallucinate and everything around me started to spiral out of control. But I know that from the day I come into contact with the truth, I will gain everything.