I Really Need to Keep You in Check

I think it should be called, "I really have to control you"

Don't write realistic plots, not many people want to see them

The front is very good and has full divine grass level potential. I also wonder why you are not in the top 100 of the monthly votes list. Until I saw the back. No, buddy, author, do you think the protagonist is really playing the game? Don't you know that the reader's first impression is the most important? Most of those who can continue reading are not from the perspective of the protagonist, or from the behind-the-scenes kind of high-level scenes. You wrote Chaos Evil. Of course, I know that everything that happens in the game is normal, including practicing, raping, hugging, etc., But do you dare to write about it? Don't you? You also know that some things cannot be touched, but you did another thing, killing slaves indiscriminately. And start in the wrong direction. We look at the protagonist from God's perspective. Everything the protagonist does has happened in the heroine's reality, which is the real world. There are also those readers who say that games can be used for anything, and they have completely discarded their three views. Do you think you are really playing games? Do you want to see what we are doing now? I'm reading a novel, do you understand? There is no logic at all. The day I insinuate that you are a pig, you will think that someone is praising you.

The setting is very interesting, and the previous plot design is very attractive. I thought I was encountering a dark horse-level masterpiece. After it was put on the shelves, it was as if the author had changed. The content became more and more clumsy. Some of the plots were designed to be very boring, with bad taste at the level of cold jokes, and the content was repeated for several chapters. The player's goodness or badness is also purposeful. It's pure chaos without rewards. It doesn't feel like it's the first time to play, but it feels like you're tired of playing for several weeks and ready to give up. The more the readers read, the more they become as confused as the protagonist about the main plot. If such a game has reached this level, it is indeed time to give up. If the author can read this comment, I hope to organize the outline carefully, clarify the two main lines of the book and the "game" in the eyes of the protagonist, and move forward as needed.

It's pretty good-looking, not bad. I recommend that there be less realistic characters. There's really no need for Ruan Yu to appear.

1. The idea is very good, the three golden chapters are also very good, and the writing is smooth. 2. The character has no arc. The male protagonist is like a tool who only knows how to play games. When entering the real world, there is no shaping of his character. The female protagonist is more like a complete tool, and her inner complaints are more like the author's tone. The heroine's character does not change at all under the control of the male protagonist. It is more like a prepared dish than Xibei's prepared dishes. The characters have completely become the mouthpiece of the author's writing. The male and female protagonists are like this, and the other characters are even worse. The author's blog makes these poisonous points truly become the poisonous points of those 3A games in a sense. The author's story can express the pain points of 3A games better than his content, which is not a great irony. 3. The poverty of the background story. The author's blunt scene changes show his complete ignorance of the world he writes about. From the village to the college, the change of scene is just a change of scene. The background board is as random as changing a piece of cloth. The characters are walking in a false airspace. The scenes in the author's works are more airspace than airspace. What about the details? What about the background? On the premise that the characters are not outstanding, the blank space in the background is more conspicuous. 4. The confusion of the plot. The story is not a game. The author is more of a game than the game. He keeps pushing the main plot and tasks. His own perspective is the perspective of the gamer. The author is a stroke of genius that makes the entire plot of the book a brush toilet game. Even if an excellent game is brushed, there is still a backbone supporting the bloated framework. The author's poor plot design leaves only bloat in the entire bloated body, making the story a brush and boring. 5. The smooth writing style hides all the problems under the iceberg. It is worse than Xiaosi, Sanshao at least has a plot, and the author's plot is gone.

The subsequent plot and dialogue are all messy, and the story narrative is a bit long. Originally written by a gamer god, this book will definitely be popular, but it chose a campus-style process of fighting and killing monsters. It is really a pity.

1. The subject matter is really good, and the male protagonist's character is not toxic at all. However, the author did not do a good job in conceptualizing the reality, which resulted in the realistic plot not even reaching the passing mark, making it very unsightly. 2. Can see it. Many plots of the author are imitating the Warlock's Manual, which I think is a good thing. After all, the Warlock's Manual is indeed a god among gods in the early stage. As long as it can be written with a little charm, it is expected to be a masterpiece. 3. But the imitation in some places is really not good enough. For example, the heroine's character design is obviously trying to imitate Sonia. They are all poor girls who want to stay in the capital. However, when Tingri described the heroine, he spent a lot of space writing about the heroine's character and goals. It can even resonate with many readers. The author actually mentions such an important goal in this book, making the heroine look a bit like a tool who has no goals of her own and just follows the crowd. Of course, this is not a bad point. At most, I think the characterization can really be done better. If you optimize it, it has the potential to be a masterpiece. 4. What I want to complain about the most is the plot of chopping wood piles. In the Warlock's Manual, the heroine chops wood piles to improve her swordsmanship proficiency, to condense the magic spirit, to crush the genius, and to shock the whole school. That plot is an excellent early climax! It is well written and can make people climax in their skulls, and it is enough to make people read more. But in this book, the heroine just spent hours chopping wood stakes. Then a group of people gathered around and said it was great, so great. That's it? I was confused at the time. I thought it would be the heroine who chopped the wood piles by herself, and then triggered some resonance to condense the laurel wreath with the sword attribute. Then the whole school was shocked. Or trigger some side quests. I even have high expectations for this. Maybe a masterpiece will be born. In the end, the author thought that the heroine was cutting stakes there for several hours, which was a very interesting plot. The plot ends after cutting down the tree stump. I really can't say enough about this. I even think that even if the plot of chopping wood piles is deleted, it will not even have any impact on the plot. The most beautiful thing is not the heroine chopping the wood piles, but the huge harvest after chopping the wood piles.

It feels like the author writes wherever he thinks, with no main line at all. Players can play the game regardless of the main line, but the novel needs a main line to connect it. And the protagonist, as an up owner who is paid for reviews, should also explore the gameplay of the game and at least go through the main storyline. Lao Ju will spend ten minutes to fully understand a game, but the protagonist has not even completed a complete branch. It's not like a player who just started playing this game seems to have quit after playing it for thousands of hours. The school only has an entrance exam, the esoteric religion only has a skill tree, and there is no task required to save the Duke's daughter, and the rest is not introduced at all. The NPC that appeared before disappeared. When I played 2077, there were NPCs who sent messages and chatted, but I lost contact here. Later, he immediately started to get crazy and asked a group of elves to commit suicide. If the game had this option, I might click on it and look at the CG, but it is obviously not available here. The protagonist suddenly wants the elves to commit suicide, and there is no explanation later, which is inexplicable. As for the up owner, it was blocked within minutes of posting it.

I spent an afternoon reading about 120 chapters, and the early stage was good. However, problems with incoherence and missing main lines started to appear around the time when the protagonist ran to the church and was forced to stand at the door of the female NPC. After a hundred chapters, the plot and settings related to the academy were basically lost. The heroine was reduced to a mediocre tool who couldn't even complain about the ideas. Later, a follower appeared who seemed to have come up with it in a flash, and the map was changed inexplicably. I have 3 guesses. Guess 1, the author uses AI to create. The situation in the previous paragraph is highly similar to the situation I encountered when using Claude 4.5 Sonnet to create light novels. Due to the limited project space and the insufficient length of a single session context window, Claude easily forgets the earlier text and gradually accumulated settings when creating longer texts, and instead uses illusion to fill in the details. My personal solution is to place a dedicated md document in the project space and prioritize the settings and chapters that need to be reviewed every time a new session is started. If the project space is insufficient, the external database can be linked through links. In addition, it is recommended that the AI ​​provide a storyboard during the writing process, and then make refinements and literary additions. When writing, remember to emphasize not to use description instead of description, and not to use the "not... But..." Sentence pattern multiple times, which can greatly reduce the AI ​​feeling. Guess 2. The author was not well prepared for the detailed outline. During the writing process, he came up with ideas one after another. He had several scenes in his mind, but lacked the patience and logic to advance the plot to these scenes, so he would only lose it while writing, and finally collapsed completely. Guess 3: While writing, the author used AI to assist in the creation of the plot. However, due to insufficient preparation for the detailed outline, he was gradually led by the AI. In the words of an editor friend of mine, he "watched the AI ​​go crazy." In the end, it collapsed step by step due to the limitations of the AI ​​mentioned above. It is recommended that new readers just read it and put it on the shelves. The plot in the early stage before the collapse is still worth reading and can kill two to three hours.