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It feels settled.
I didn't cry in the early stage and insisted on writing an original girl. It's not that I can't write such a very demanding writing style. Your writing of the female character is very poor. I don't see any character at all, and the character has no causes and consequences. It seems that she is a young lady who likes to be moved by herself and wants to play with you. She is not even as good as the male classmate. The male classmate has causes and consequences, does not take up space, and can be continued later. Then the most important plug-in is not described in detail, but is just mentioned in one stroke. Your description of the plug-in is very important, but you did not write it down, because it can expand the protagonist's route and the overall routine of the entire book, such as the invincible flow, the training effort flow, subdivision, copy flow, competition upgrade flow, and the dead flow of lying down. Then because there are no expansion plug-ins, your protagonist does not raise expectations. After reading chapter 18, there is no description of who the template of the protagonist is and how he plans to move. You see, all football novels basically use templates. Even if they are not broken down, they will give you ability values. You know very clearly what kind of football you are. Members, even if you read Lin Hai Tingtao's book Parallel World, he also set the tone for you in the early stage, which will expand to another topic. The title of Lin Hai's book is called Fox in the Zone. It is clear at a glance. Anyone who reads this category knows what it means. The title of your book just lists the team, and the content does not expand the subdivision of player categories. I don't think it's as good as a campus streamer. The above-mentioned campus streamers can handle all of the above, because this genre is known to be a super slow-burning streamer from the beginning. 😳
Is there something wrong with the character setting? Let's not talk about the height from 16 years old to 1.85 Meters. What I don't understand is. What on earth did the male protagonist come to England to do? Do you expect a 16-year-old to work and earn money to support the family?
Save money: original heroine + bloody love triangle 😅
The protagonist only had four months of youth training, and was not even eligible to apply for the special talent clause, but he actually went straight to play in the Premier League.
Brother, the beginning is cliche. I suggest you change the beginning. Forget about the fight at the beginning. The protagonist is underage, his peers are driving, and the male partner is drinking beer in a bar. I remember that overseas this should be stricter. The female protagonist also drives the male protagonist back, and then directly poisons the body. There is no need to read the rest.
Really speechless
Forget about the emotional turmoil. After seeing Arsenal win the treble, they can break up with Cesc Fabregas and Robin van Persie over the contract renewal issue. Simply because the national team performs well, they can loan out core players like the protagonist, no matter how much fake wine they drink. In reality, Arsenal does this, which is to directly dismember the championship team by other giants. If they put a little pressure on them, they can rent out the core. If they do too much, they can sell them.
If you don't have time for football articles, don't read them at all.
Think about it, why is X round of X season, the most common football season, not written? The biggest advantage of not daring to write time is that it makes it easier to write blindly.
Damn it, this book was really written by a talented person. He was already a core player at Arsenal and yet he was loaned out to Inter Milan for a year?
I briefly read a few chapters and would like to share my thoughts.
You are writing about football. You have already written ten chapters about football, but you only wrote about a community match. Can it take up two chapters? Not to mention the three golden chapters to retain people. What have you written after ten chapters? No wonder your grades are poor, you are putting the cart before the horse. If you want to achieve good results and retain people, the above bloody plots must be overhauled, otherwise your grades will never get better. It is impossible to retain many target groups at the beginning. You have to remember that you are writing about football, and those who click in to read it are also those who like football or are interested in football. After all, you have already written ten chapters, so how much content is there about football?
The male protagonist needs to have his own edge, not to mention who is Cesc Fabregas? He cares about Arsenal, he only cares about Barcelona, does he need to scream like a boss every day? Humility is not so modest. Don't write the little law as so important, and don't lick it so much. The main thing is to straighten the male protagonist quickly. It does look a bit embarrassing. Why don't the male protagonist go to Manchester United directly to succeed Ronaldo.
Leasing at this time is really not what most people would think of.
Everyone knows who the real big deal is, yet they even have the idea of loaning him out. It really feels retarded.
The first time I saw a weird transfer
He won the Triple Crown with Arsenal as his core, and then he was loaned to Inter Milan. You actually told me it was not an exile.
You might say that the author doesn't understand football, but the game is well written. He said he knew about football, labor certificates, underage drinking, gold finger activation conditions, etc. The writing was a mess. The most disgusting thing is that at the age of 17, Dangtang ranked first in both leagues, had a strong dialogue, single-handedly carried out the Cup, won four games in the Champions League final, and dragged the team to win the season's treble by himself. Looking at the entire football world, I can't find such an awesome figure who can be forced to leave on loan. I am also convinced. Not to mention Arsenal, Wenger was kind to the protagonist. First of all, the protagonist was not trained in the Arsenal youth training since childhood, but was discovered only because of a friendly match. If you change to another team at random, with the talent of the protagonist after being activated by Goldfinger, as long as the coach is not blind and racist, the result will be the same. Is it necessary to lick Arsenal like this?
There is no way a pig's trotter can participate in the Premier League. He doesn't even understand the basic rules.
It feels like the protagonist is mentally ill, what can he gain by returning to Arsenal? 🥵
Come on, author, daily life is a bit boring and I can't get there.
Wenger asked the protagonist to sign a contract and asked him to find an agent. The protagonist said he just wanted to play football and didn't want an agent?
After reading Chapter 10, I actually found out that it was just for fun. Isn't it true that there are so many young models abroad? Are there so many female stars not attractive? Is it not good for everyone to get what he needs? Playing with pure innocence
Another 100% goal from a free kick. The best free kick master in the world is only 15%, and this is based on other physical and strength conditions. You are a god too
The author is so perseverant that he is unwilling to cut such a bad book, and no one will read it even if it is limited or exempted.
It's not what people see, winning 2 Triple Crowns is not the maximum salary
There are very few people writing about Arsenal at Qidian, so I subscribed to you when you wrote about Arsenal, but I regretted it. What did you write about? The core can be rented out, the Premier League rules can be created, and history has not been changed. Arsenal are still competing for the top four, so what do you need to do as the protagonist? What use are you?
What the hell, come up with a love line first? All affection is a stumbling block!
It's really yy, will a woman chase someone who has no money? Especially abroad, I really doubt that the author does not live on this planet.
About the line about the heroine
For the role of Ye Jin, I wanted to create a sports brand route for her. But many readers say this character is very poisonous. So I sincerely want to collect your opinions on the heroine line. If everyone doesn't like the heroine very much, I will delete this line directly, or add it in later.
He actually wrote more than 2 million words. Let me support you.
I saw that I went directly to Inter Milan. Can anyone tell me if the protagonist has returned to Arsenal? If you reply, there is no need to read any more.
I was still at Highbury in 2000, where did the Emirates Stadium come from?
How does the national football team deal with it?
Why is there no domestic news about such a European killer?
Okay, I really returned to Arsenal. No need to read anymore. The protagonist is simply Arsenal's licking dog.