This Is Not My Epitaph!

Li Chuyi, standing in front of a monument: I studied literature for the first time and failed in three years; Change to martial arts, shoot an arrow in the school field, hit the drum official, and drive him out; Also engaged in business, one encounters cheating, the second encounters robberies, and the third encounters bandits; Then I plowed hard, and there was a severe drought in one year, a severe flood in another year, and migratory locusts in another year; He studied medicine and achieved success. I wrote a good prescription, took it, and died. Li Chuyi: "Hahaha, I'm sorry, man, you are so unlucky!!!" "Boom-boom!!!"... News from this station: On October 21, 2025, a meteorite fell in Dahai City... After on-site verification, it was confirmed that it caused the death of a man... Opening his eyes again, Li Chuyi found that he had traveled through time and became an ancient boy with the same name. Before he could celebrate his new life, an illusory stone tablet slowly appeared in front of his eyes. Is that... His own epitaph? [Born to be smart and pretentious. When I was eighteen years old, I wanted to serve the Holy Love, so I visited brothels all over, but I got sick and almost died. He recovered and became a merchant, selling horses. The horses were frightened and he lost all his family assets. He has no choice but to marry into a wealthy family with a beautiful wife. He boasts that he has reached the end of his life, eating soft food and being happy and worry-free. When Li Chuyi saw this, he breathed a sigh of relief: "Although it's a bit cowardly, marrying a beautiful wife and eating soft food... It's not a loss!" He smiled and continued to look down—— [On the twenty-fifth year of the year, my wife suddenly became a virtuous person. She personally prepared a decoction and said, "My husband is weak and needs to be supplemented."] [I felt so much that I drank it all in one gulp. Dead. Li Chuyi's smile froze on his face. He turned his head and looked at the "good wife" who was walking over with a bowl of hot soup and a bright smile. "Wait, this is not my epitaph!"