I Sell Heartbeats in Xinghan Era

Adjust the paragraphs and it will become really hard to explain in one sentence. The language should not be so formal or dry, but try to be lively and lively. Character dialogue is very important. You should use more dialogue to reflect the character's personality.

As others have said, it is too dense, so divide it into more paragraphs, otherwise it will be very tiring to read. Also, use fewer parentheses and complicated words. It looks a bit crazy and mainly reminds me of what DS wrote.