Talented Male God

For me, this book is between Liangcao and Xiancao The villain's facial expressions are quite serious. I feel that this aspect needs improvement the most. If you want the book to be better and more outstanding, this facial expression should not be too serious. The female parent, especially the identity of the mother (no matter who she is), is too uncomfortable, too stereotyped, and has feudal ideas. The role of the father is also described as purely sick. At the end of the episode, he suddenly said that he is actually quite good. Her mother does not need to get better. She has been offline for a long time. She is sick from beginning to end. To be honest, it affects the reading experience and the perception has also dropped significantly. Many emotional lines are a little too much. Personal thoughts and career lines could be more, otherwise they would be a bit cumbersome Of course the book is well conceived and the writing is smooth! The writing of "Kiss a Little Mouth" is also very good (ahem, I like Luobei Ye Liang and Su Mu very much. I personally think they are the three most outstanding characters at the moment 😌. All in all, good luck to the author! The writing is very good and there is room for improvement. Keep up the good work!! 😡😡✊

It's so beautiful, why isn't it so popular? I feel like the author did a good job 😭😭😭

Bloody family disputes... If I don't change this, I can only say that this book will not get good grades.

The standard stepmother plot is a bit procrastinating, the college entrance examination and university computer science, and the future of multiple female protagonists are also a bit clumsy. Overall, the upper limit is not high and the lower limit is not low.

The male protagonist is a bit too insensitive, which makes the development of the love line a bit redundant. There is so much focus on the whole dance, but there is no progress at all. It takes up too much space in the system and career.

It seems that the tag is not marked, so I'd like to mention it here. Those who enter the character card are all female protagonists, and they will all have GE. I'm done, thank you everyone (not because I heard that monthly votes will be given for posting)

Author. The last few chapters are really hard to describe. Do you want to target all your readers to those who have a computer background? Isn't this a screening method to select readers? Is it the kind of plot that can be skipped and read without being affected? With this system in place, you don't think about going in the extraordinary direction. Choose a computer. In fact, it's quite outrageous. As a result, you don't care about the main line and don't push Kaka to do programming here. To be honest, it's hard to understand.

I'm so excited. When I opened my eyes today, I found that the system has added a lot of tags that have nothing to do with this book... But I can't change it at this stage. I'll wait until next month I apologize in advance to all readers who clicked in and found that the product is not correct~

It was okay in the beginning, but this prophet was a bit abrupt. My personal impression was not very good, and it might be a losing point. Goldfinger is a skill career tree. The main line should be to improve yourself around the career tree. Suddenly a fantasy prophet comes and it is a bit fragmented. Unless your main line later also goes to fantasy, but then you might as well go to fantasy from the beginning. It is a bit fragmented, and the above.

The idea of ​​Goldfinger is good, but the current plot direction seems a bit bloody. I wonder if the author can control it well.

After the divorce, I knew clearly that my son was having a hard time, but he never cared about it or even looked at it. My son is about to take the college entrance examination. Before coming to see him, I came to see him with a utilitarian mentality. If my son has good grades, I will train him. The purpose may be to work for my current husband's son. When I saw that my son's grades were not good enough, I didn't reflect on my own problems. I just wanted to give up and give some money to clear the living expenses. Later, when I saw that the protagonist was excellent, I felt that it was valuable to cultivate, and I wanted to pick it up and cultivate it, saying that it would provide steps to pave the way for the protagonist, but weren't these roads and steps still under her and her current husband's hands? Still working for her and her youngest son. Her own family status is not very good. Although she has a company, it is obviously in the business field of her husband's company. She can only be cautious when facing her current husband. She does things based on her husband's face and dare not disobey. She does not even dare to tell her husband that she came to see the protagonist. She has become a tool for childbirth and making money, living in a false and fragile happiness.

Is this in China? Helicopter confession?

Advantages: 1. The text is of high quality, rarely uses Internet slang and swear words, and basically does not use bad jokes, which many popular books cannot do 2. The author spends a lot of thought on the emotional line, so the heroines will be more like real people, which is also rare in many harem novels 3. The male protagonist is relatively high-quality and does not make people uncomfortable. It is disgusting and not greasy at all. It is simply a breath of fresh air among urban entrepreneurial protagonists Disadvantages: 1. The plot relies on coincidence. The protagonist just encounters a problem here, and someone who can solve the problem immediately appears over there. It is somewhat brainless 2. The author often spends a lot of pen and ink to describe the psychology of supporting characters and villains. Sometimes there are several chapters in a row, which really overwhelms the main focus. It's better for me to read hundreds of chapters in a row. If you read it, you will probably want to hit someone 3. There are some poisonous points in a broad sense, such as bloody family disputes and male supporting characters entangled with female protagonists. In fact, I personally think it is okay. The author actually writes in a relatively moderate way, but because he often switches to the perspective of supporting characters, Therefore, this poisonous point has been amplified, and some readers may find it difficult to endure, especially those who are following up Summary: The harem novel has obvious advantages and disadvantages. I personally think it is written with some aura, and is obviously different from ordinary routine novels. Readers need to read and experience it in person. If they are on the airwaves, they will probably like it more

Compared to Senior Sister Ye, I still prefer Xiao Bai's type.

Many supporting characters and villains are basically disposable tools that drive the plot. Even if some of them return later, this positioning will not be affected. But it's really a failure to spend so much time describing a character that should be thrown away once and for all and is actually thrown away after use. As long as the tool man plays the role of a tool man, no one cares about what he thinks. He also needs his perspective. It is purely laborious and thankless. It cannot create a character because the character is basically a one-time character and does not appear later. It also disgusts the readers.

The protagonist may be a good guy, but have you ever thought that if he was exposed, he might not be the only one in trouble? Everyone around him will be affected. After all, the protagonist doesn't have the ability to protect the people he cherishes, right?

I think it's quite good-looking. I like the male protagonist with such a personality. There's nothing too toxic about it. The female protagonist is also very good. It feels very relevant to life. The golden finger of the protagonist is also quite interesting. I have already voted for the monthly vote, and the author is greatly encouraged.

Liang Cao, a serious urban harem novel, don't worry about some flaws, please give it a try, the author.

I haven't read it for a long time. The longer the emotional line is stretched, the more stretched the writing is. I know you want to pull it, but as the number of people increases and the number of times increases, the male protagonist will appear to be very dull and talkative. There are already multiple female protagonists. Science fiction does not need to be so entangled. The main reason is that it is delicate and not artificial. However, the author's career line is still very good. Now the ratio between the two sides is out of balance, and the look and feel is a bit bad.

I've finished reading it. It's very well written. Keep up the good work and keep your own pace.

It's so well written, much better than the novels on the monthly list.

After reading Chapter 200, Bai Zhi was tortured so miserably by the author that I wanted to kill the author. You remind me of that book My Girlfriend Comes from the Future with Stomach Pain. You're not the same as him, are you?

The author is a programmer, so he understands the knowledge of these programmers (the sense of substitution is very strong)

，，，                ，，，，，，，Several female protagonists, so the male protagonist in urban harem novels often plays the role of a power strip. The number of electrical appliances that can be equipped on it depends on the power of the power strip (character personality setting) It can be seen that the author has put a lot of thought into the portrayal of the male protagonist in this book. There are many descriptions of the psychological activities of the male protagonist, and they are all very well written. However, from the perspective of the creation of the work, especially in the case of multiple female protagonists, this book The description of the protagonist's character in the book is actually a bit thankless (it would be a good idea if it were a double heroine). One consequence of this is that there will be too many pulling parts in the emotional drama, and the reader will feel a certain sense of fatigue after reading it. However, at present, the impact is not big. Let's talk about the advantages and small flaws of this book (there is really nothing that can be said to be a disadvantage), as well as some small suggestions from the reader's perspective Advantages 1. The emotional description is delicate, and the characters are online and at the top of similar works, especially Xiaoji and Ye Liang 2. The writing style is smooth and the writing style is also very good, which is above the standard 3. The overall story rhythm is well grasped, and the reading will not make readers feel dragged out Small flaws (does not affect the look and feel of the book, overall this book is definitely worth ordering) 1. Angelica dahuricae. There is no problem with the character as a whole, except for one thing. In the previous ten years of accompanying the character, the author's stereotype of this character should not be a "good brother", but a weak and dependent Qingmei. Otherwise, compared with the humble image of the character in the relationship, there will be a logical mismatch in the character's personality 2. In the portrayal of Su Mu's character, the airport incident should be the first and most important scene between the two of them. Because it establishes the logic of their subsequent behavior in the process of getting along, the portrayal must focus on highlighting the protagonist's abnormal but convincing personality charm in this incident. Moreover, this description cannot be shown to the reader from the author's God's perspective, but must use Su Mu's perspective to use a certain length to express Luo Bei's views on the airport incident, highlight Luo Bei's uniqueness in Su Mu's eyes, and in the subsequent interactions between the two. , But also add a few strokes from time to time to make people feel that this kind of trust is gradual and not achieved overnight. Otherwise, Su Mu will become a tool for the protagonist's career to take off. However, the author should have ignored this in the book. In the airport incident, Su Mu's views on Luo Bei were described in only a few words. This resulted in Su Mu's series of unreserved contributions in the subsequent relationship between the two being logically untenable, causing the character's The image is not three-dimensional enough, and the charm is not outstanding enough Some other small suggestions 1. The protagonist has spent a large amount of chapters to describe it. If the protagonist's behavioral logic remains unchanged in the subsequent description process, and he still passively waits for the heroines to push, then the constant pulling in the emotional drama is unavoidable, which will cause readers to have great aesthetic fatigue and may make readers abandon the book. This is in the city There are many precedents in harem novels. In fact, this problem is not unsolvable. That is, after the protagonist has a relationship with Bai Ye, and when he clearly knows that several girls around him like him and do not want to give up, the protagonist's behavioral logic can slowly and passively change to a certain degree of initiative. Otherwise, the subsequent emotional scenes will make people tired. To put it bluntly, it is an urban harem novel, and it also has a fucking system, and wants to take them all. Luobei, stop pretending, it's time to wake up and be more proactive. You don't want her, her, her... All... Haha, just kidding, this kind of design may make subsequent emotional dramas more interesting 2. Ye Liang is a fiery and bold character who dares to think and do, so after the relationship, he should become bolder in verbal teasing in daily interactions with the protagonist. This is in line with the logic of the character's behavior and can also promote the protagonist's behavioral changes in relationships. Function (complementary to the first day) 3. Regarding the hidden talent in the talent tree, the author may feel that writing it too directly will not match the character's personality and writing style. In fact, in my opinion, naming something like "Kidney Fighter" or "Mr. Mighty"... Can increase the interest of the text. In addition, it can also play a certain role in promoting the character from passive to active. 4. The overall nature of the book is a little more "serious". After all, this is an urban harem story, not a daily middle school love story. There is no need to be too restrained. The atmosphere of the entire book is almost entirely on Xiao Ji. Once it switches back to other events, the interest will drop a lot. Apart from Xiao Ji's plot line, the only interesting plot should be the scene where Luo Bei and Xiao Bai go to buy "little balloons". It is completely possible to intersperse some plots similar to this type of plot into the daily plot, which can weaken the readers' interest in the book. The fatigue felt in the constant emotional pull 5. After Luobei Xiaobai had a relationship, in the conversation between the two people in the room before buying the small balloon, a shy character like Xiaobai would also take the initiative to propose a relationship in the relationship between the sexes. This writing method is very successful and playful. So Luobei, as a male, and is described in the book as a normal energetic man in his 20s, interacts with the female character "sexually" Adding a little more description, no need to be detailed, just a few occasional sketches can make the protagonist's transition from passive to active in love smooth, and the book's interest will also increase a lot 6. There are a little few dialogues and interactive events among the characters. Most of the psychological portrayal of the characters comes from the readers' personal descriptions directly from God's perspective. This kind of writing is far inferior to increasing the dialogue and interaction of the characters. The scene interaction is good, and the side description effect is much better than the direct description effect, but fortunately the author's writing power can fully support it, and it does not make people feel that there is anything wrong. I have to say that although it can be better, it is actually good enough and delicate enough 7. There are so few appearances by small artists that I can't seem to remember their names now. In fact, the protagonist company can be arranged to launch a new product in order to quickly occupy the market. ，，        ，，，，，，，         ，

The author's writing skills shouldn't be like this. The main reason is that the previous writing was too slow. The family ethics drama took up several chapters, and the supporting characters took up several chapters. The advancement of the main plot felt like a hammer here and a stick here and there. If you don't make the previous free chapters exciting enough, how can you attract readers? There are too many books in Qidian. If the previous ones do not attract readers, readers will change books immediately.

Not to mention, this feeling is really delicate

Very well written, the text is very delicate

It's great to watch if you skip the previous family chapters.

The author can't control so many emotional lines, it's too procrastinating

Very well written, keep up the good work!