The Second Dimension Is Coming, My Character Pool Has No Upper Limit?

I really like the subject matter, and the setting feels pretty good, but the writing style is a bit problematic, as follows: 1. Abuse of exclamation marks! You have too many exclamation marks. You can try searching and see how many you can find in one chapter! 2. There are too many psychological descriptions and lack of other description methods. This problem is very serious. The psychological descriptions and verbal descriptions in half of the chapter give people the feeling of talking to themselves. The protagonist's reasoning process can be completely replaced by narration. Only the prominent points and intense emotions can be psychologically used. The character's language is not like normal people's speech. There is no sense of dialogue in the words spoken. It is like talking to himself, and the protagonist feels like he is playing tricks by himself. For example, in Chapter 14, if you look closely, you will find that there is one paragraph describing the physical appearance of the battle scene (it is also written in the psychological activities), two paragraphs describing the actions, barely two paragraphs describing the environment, and no description of the facial expressions. The rest are all the psychological activities of the protagonist. 3. Single perspective After reading twenty chapters, there is no description from other perspectives. The story is all told from the perspective of the protagonist, and there is not even a psychological description of other characters (except for Teresa's so-called love interest, although it feels very abrupt) 4. The character description is thin After reading twenty chapters, the characters only left some stereotypes for me, and I did not see any character arcs. Doctor Teresa - came out of the dark organization, emerged from the mire and remained unsullied, and planned to draw a clear line. Got it, Haibara Ai, the only impression left is the NPC who pushed the plot Master Conate - comedian, brainless Apprentice Ginny - a brainless hot-blooded righteous young man Protagonist - a funny person regardless of the occasion and time The relationship between the protagonist and the doctor is also inexplicable. He was frightened by the characteristics of the protagonist Gin Ichimaru, and then developed a crush? ? ! Are you sure it's not Stockholm Syndrome? 5. The chain of logical reasoning is incomplete We often use some known clues to omit the derivation process or simply use wrong logic to draw a very reluctant inference, and then decide that it is just like that. The entire logical chain is very strong. 6. The emotional preparation is not in place, and the funny parts are not funny I have read 20 chapters. At present, the so-called funny and light-hearted parts are all linked to the protagonist, and most of them are expressed through the protagonist's language. In my opinion, there are many ways to achieve a funny effect, but someone like the protagonist who is constantly being funny can only become a really funny person in the end. The cruel part mentioned in the introduction is not described deeply enough, and the battle part is not serious enough. I only saw the relaxed part and not the cruel part. 7. Problems with the narrative structure The story structure is roughly divided into four parts: beginning, succession, transition, and conclusion. The story written by the author is obviously lacking in the two stages of beginning and ending. Events that have never been mentioned before start inexplicably, and the protagonist solves the matter by talking alone, lacking foreshadowing of the event, which is one of the reasons for the lack of characterization. The following is my rewriting of a part of Chapter 14 of the original text without changing the narrative structure. It mainly makes some modifications to the issues mentioned. The thoughts in brackets are when making the changes. Please forgive me if the changes are not very good. If I were to write it, I would drastically change the narrative structure, and the perspective of this plot would not be fixed on the protagonist. After seeing the two warring parties and naming them, shift the perspective to the master and apprentice, move the time forward and start writing from the part in the car in front, highlight the character's character through dialogue, and at the same time supplement the background of the entire incident. The suspense of why the master and apprentice did what they did can be retained. The battle part is made longer to reflect the sense of oppression brought by the opponent, and to provide a sense of satisfaction for the protagonist later to appear to save people. The inexplicable skill guessing link is deleted, and the mastermind behind the scenes is revealed at the end.

The setting makes people's eyes bright, and then it goes dark.

The setting of your book is quite good, but it's just a little too watery. You, the main character, can't stop eating gold!

Invincible characters will lose most of the plot kills or have bad compatibility. Even if they are not truly invincible, the T0 skill set does not mean choosing Sakamoto and then saying that it will be the same regardless of who you choose. Being invincible depends on cultivating something that can make a difference. I didn't know how to strengthen it later, so I chose a character with no future.

There was a story that I was confused about. It looked like a paragraph, but I couldn't conceive of the scene in my mind. It was really uncomfortable.

The setting is okay and has a certain appeal, but the content... Is not that good at all. The plot is too confusing, and some anime are not watched by many people at all. I have to understand the plot of the anime before reading a novel... I suggest the author cut it and start it again, and reorganize the outline and plot.

Many settings and plots that should be explained clearly have been explained in one stroke. In addition, the logic of the characters' behavior is very strange. For example, choosing a character requires the character's strength, but he chooses based on the character's setting, personality, and ending. It's very strange.

The setting is great. It's just that the plot development is too out of the ordinary. How to put it this way, I have had this problem when writing articles before, that is, the author's thoughts are not expressed in detail. When I write, I know how the plot develops and changes, but the readers do not know. The result is that the plot is too out of the ordinary and lacks proper explanations, which makes the readers unable to keep up with the rhythm. Especially the dialogues have no idea what they are talking about. Many of them cannot be understood and are basically skipped. It has little impact on the understanding of the main line, but the reading experience is very bad. The above is just my personal opinion

It's so cloudy and foggy that my brain is dizzy.

6 Comments? It's interesting, but I don't dare to read it.

The setting is okay, but it's a bit tiring to watch.

The setting seems interesting, but some of the logic is strange

You can feel free to submit. The deposited manuscript is already 300,000+, and it will definitely be put on the shelves.

I originally thought it was an invincible article. After reading a little bit, I thought it was a battle of wits, but I didn't expect it to be a hot-blooded novel.

The setting and plot of this book are really good, but the details are not well described, but it's okay to read.

According to the introduction, isn't this a harem novel? 🤔

This book probably doesn't have a "heroine" who has a lot of roles, but there are a lot of "female supporting characters" who are relevant, let's call it a harem.

I am a Chinese who lives in the United States and participates in comic exhibitions. In China, due to well-known reasons, I understand everything but don't write much about it.

The characters in the novel choose really weird roles. I was very hesitant about which role to choose after reading about it. Until I saw the near-death trial, I didn't hesitate at all. The black beast is my favorite!

This novel is a coincidence. There are more than 2,000 tickets in total, and you can meet 5 of them in succession when you go to the United States. What a probability.

Read the introduction: The second dimension is coming, and the world in the first world will definitely start to become chaotic.

What anime will you write about? Spell Attack, Kimetsu no Yaiba, Full-time Hunter, Dragon Maid, Jobless Reincarnation, Reincarnated Slime, Shield Yong, Shen Yong, Earth Mistake, JOJO, Violet, Zero, Noragami, God Killer, Seven Sin, game life, battle, Kamen Rider, Pokémon, Inuyasha, Naruto, One Piece, Bleach, OVERLORD, Sword Art Online, Buried Frilian, Doraemon, Sentai, Demon Card Girl Sakura, Problem Child, Black Clover, Seraph of the End, Magic Forbidden, Yu-Gi-Oh, Labyrinth Rice, Ultraman, Fate, Nano Core, Shadow Power, Spy Play House, Saiki Kusuo's Disaster, Welcome to the Classroom of Supremacy of Strength, Tutor, EVA, Charlotte, Tokyo Ghoul, Shokaku no Sakai, To the Immortal You, Witch's Journey, School Apocalypse! Academy City, Fantasy World Uncle, Fictional Mystery, Danganronpa, Bungou Stray Dogs, The Hero Story of the Fallen Knight, Everyday Life, Animal Rhapsody, Guilty Crown, Unknown Flower Name, The Invisible Girl, Cell at Work, The Prince of Tennis, Fantasy Front, Dragon Clan, Persona, Natsume's Book of Friends, the American TV series "Heroes" , Fake Love, Chinese Little Boss, Another World Diner, Kuroko's Basketball, Black Butler, Girls' Last Journey, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Steins; Gate, Macross, Rurouni Kenshin, The Grandson of the Slicker, Scarlet Bullet's Aria, Demon King Brave, Shakugan Shana, Iron Armored Treasure, Chuunibyou Also Fall in Love, Light Sound Girl, Under One Person, Under Sakamoto, Kino's Journey, Spirit Cage, Douluo, Dou Po, Stealing Stars in September, Nezha Series, Fox Demon Matchmaker, Three-Body Problem, Luo Xiaohei's War Diary, Star Travels, Super Beast Arms, Chinese Boy, Wu Liuqi, Young Song Xing, Myth, Legend of Sword and Fairy, White Snake, Qin Shi Mingyue, Monster List, Legend of the Seven Heroes of Rainbow Cat and Blue Rabbit, Wu Gengji, Once Upon a Time there was a Spirit Sword Mountain, Super Seminary, The Supreme Being, Lord of Mysteries, Go Boy, Magic Sword Life and Death Chess, Nano Core, Calabash Baby, Kuiba, Armored Warrior, Magic Soldier, Dragon Nest, Lotus Lantern, Seven Fairies of Happy Land, Zhu Bajie Series, Romance of the Three Kingdoms

The first time I watched it, I was so confused. I wasn't used to this kind of opening. There was no introduction to the background of the story.