Praise You, My Great Evil God

Li Jicang: “As my believers, you must let me exploit you.”

Believers: “How will you exploit us?”

Li Jicang: “Aha! From now on, you must work six hours a day, and I'll provide nothing but pork knuckle rice for your meals.”

“Those officials spend a thousand taels of silver on a single banquet, while I'll pay you just thirty strings of ancient coins a month.”

“To make sure you don't even get the chance to take time off, I'll use my power to cure every illness you have, so you can never use any excuse to dodge work! You'll be utterly exhausted and miserable, but unable to fight back, because you've already signed a contract with me. That goes even for you, Child of Destiny.”

Everyone exchanged bewildered looks.

A month later, someone was imitating a fox outside the gate, someone else dug a stone man out of the riverbank, and a mad Taoist arrived shouting, “They say the stone man has only one eye.” Strange prophecies also began to spread, the most popular of which was: [The Ziwei Star descends from heaven, eradicating all evil and renewing the world]

Years later, Li Jicang said to the System, which was staring at him in stunned silence, “Just tell me whether I completed the mission or not.”