Lord: No More Pretending, I'm Building a Kingdom

The protagonist hasn't acquired any potions yet; it's too bland.

There may be changes in the future.

Hey, you're going to completely revive this fantasy world! Grandpa! Doctor! What were you thinking with those terms?!

Your setup of this mountain stronghold is a bit abrupt. With so many people and horses to eat and graze, where will the provisions come from? Also, your appeasement faction is even more of a capitulationist than the surrender faction. The political demands are wrong. The author should write according to their own ideas first, and then sort out the pitfalls they encountered after finishing.

Although you used the time-travel element, the protagonist you wrote is practically indistinguishable from a native. The whole novel is too ordinary, too mundane, and lacks any unique features. Although the author wanted to downplay the "golden finger" (cheat code) and build a solid foundation before slowly progressing, it's written too simply, offering no surprises whatsoever. There's not a single element to keep readers engaged. Forget about the future; even the early parts are now unread.

Your writing style is too bland. It would be okay without supernatural powers, but now that there's a supernatural power element, it's a complete failure.

The main characters are all the second sons of counts, and their extraordinary abilities are restricted. Does that mean there are only a few hundred extraordinary individuals?

The author should remove the "system-based" tag. The synopsis confirms there's no system shop and the cheat ability is a portable map, but the "system-based" tag will deter some readers.

Pay attention to nouns and sentence structure. The appearance of Eastern-influenced nouns and sentence structures in Western fantasy is jarring and jarring. Also, the author's outline and plans must be consistent with the current development of the novel's world; otherwise, if the plot only serves the outline, it will feel illogical and inconsistent with the novel's existing worldview.

Western fantasy novels are all about knights and magic, with construction and military affairs as the main themes. The thrill of improving one's own strength is key. Looking at the top-performing books, this is basically the formula. If the writing is good and each event is explained clearly, it can become a minor hit.