Great Song: You’re Forcing Me to Rebel, Aren’t You?

I want to be emperor.

No?

What if my surname is Song? The Song of the Great Song?

Still no?

Then what about Gui? Song Gui, meaning “the Great Song belongs to me.” Hey, hey, don't hit me! You want to fight? Like I'd be scared of you! Bao Zheng, is that you? Su Shi? Sima Guang? Wang Anshi? Armed with the History Book, which governs the [past] [present] [future], Song Gui is unstoppable.

“What are you all getting so worked up about? I'm not here to destroy the Great Song. I'm here to save it. If the emperor of the Great Song isn't surnamed Song, what should he be called? Zhao? There hasn't been a good emperor surnamed Zhao.”

“Hey, hey, don't spit at me!”

“You're spitting again?”

“I really don't get it. You can tolerate someone being crowned emperor, but you can't tolerate the Song replacing the Zhao?”

“Ugh!”

“Spitting again? Are you forcing me to rebel?”

My new book, From the Original Three Kingdoms to the World of Film and TV, is now available. I also want to apologize. This book really did have problems from the very start. I wanted to take a mythic approach, but didn't pull it off, and I let my friends down.